[Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally]
- Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
- Launce. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess
- Speed. Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with you
presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
did thy master part with Madam Julia?
- Launce. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
fairly in jest.
- Speed. But shall she marry him?
- Speed. How then? shall he marry her?
- Speed. What, are they broken?
- Launce. No, they are both as whole as a fish.
- Speed. Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
- Launce. Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it
stands well with her.
- Speed. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
- Launce. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
staff understands me.
- Launce. Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but lean,
and my staff understands me.
- Speed. It stands under thee, indeed.
- Launce. Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
- Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match?
- Launce. Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
- Speed. The conclusion is then that it will.
- Launce. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
- Speed. 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest
thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
- Launce. I never knew him otherwise.
- Launce. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
- Speed. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
- Launce. Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
- Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
- Launce. Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the
name of a Christian.
- Launce. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?