Act V, Scene 4

Plains between Troy and the Grecian camp.

[Alarums: excursions. Enter THERSITES]

• Thersites. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go 3410
  look on. That dissembling abominable varlets Diomed,
  has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's
  sleeve of Troy there in his helm: I would fain see
  them meet; that that same young Trojan ass, that
  loves the whore there, might send that Greekish 3415
  whore-masterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the
  dissembling luxurious drab, of a sleeveless errand.
  O' the t'other side, the policy of those crafty
  swearing rascals, that stale old mouse-eaten dry
  cheese, Nestor, and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, is 3420
  not proved worthy a blackberry: they set me up, in
  policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of
  as bad a kind, Achilles: and now is the cur Ajax
  prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm
  to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim 3425
  barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion.
  Soft! here comes sleeve, and t'other.

[Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following]

• Troilus. Fly not; for shouldst thou take the river Styx,
  I would swim after. 3430

• Diomedes. Thou dost miscall retire:
  I do not fly, but advantageous care
  Withdrew me from the odds of multitude:
  Have at thee!

• Thersites. Hold thy whore, Grecian!—now for thy whore, 3435
  Trojan!—now the sleeve, now the sleeve!

[Exeunt TROILUS and DIOMEDES, fighting]

[Enter HECTOR]

• Hector. What art thou, Greek? art thou for Hector's match?
  Art thou of blood and honour? 3440

• Thersites. No, no, I am a rascal; a scurvy railing knave:
  a very filthy rogue.

• Hector. I do believe thee: live.

[Exit]

• Thersites. God-a-mercy, that thou wilt believe me; but a 3445
  plague break thy neck for frightening me! What's
  become of the wenching rogues? I think they have
  swallowed one another: I would laugh at that
  miracle: yet, in a sort, lechery eats itself.
  I'll seek them. 3450

[Exit]