Act III, Scene 2

A room in LEONATO’S house

[Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO]

• Don Pedro. I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and
  then go I toward Arragon. 1200

• Claudio. I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll
  vouchsafe me.

• Don Pedro. Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss
  of your marriage as to show a child his new coat
  and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold 1205
  with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown
  of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all
  mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's
  bow-string and the little hangman dare not shoot at
  him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his 1210
  tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his
  tongue speaks.

• Benedick. Gallants, I am not as I have been.

• Leonato. So say I. methinks you are sadder.

• Claudio. I hope he be in love. 1215

• Don Pedro. Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in
  him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad,
  he wants money.

• Benedick. I have the toothache.

• Don Pedro. Draw it. 1220

• Benedick. Hang it!

• Claudio. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

• Don Pedro. What! sigh for the toothache?

• Leonato. Where is but a humour or a worm.

• Benedick. Well, every one can master a grief but he that has 1225
  it.

• Claudio. Yet say I, he is in love.

• Don Pedro. There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be
  a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be
  a Dutchman today, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the 1230
  shape of two countries at once, as, a German from
  the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from
  the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy
  to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no
  fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. 1235

• Claudio. If he be not in love with some woman, there is no
  believing old signs: a' brushes his hat o'
  mornings; what should that bode?

• Don Pedro. Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

• Claudio. No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, 1240
  and the old ornament of his cheek hath already
  stuffed tennis-balls.

• Leonato. Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

• Don Pedro. Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him
  out by that? 1245

• Claudio. That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.

• Don Pedro. The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

• Claudio. And when was he wont to wash his face?

• Don Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear
  what they say of him. 1250

• Claudio. Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into
  a lute-string and now governed by stops.

• Don Pedro. Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude,
  conclude he is in love.

• Claudio. Nay, but I know who loves him. 1255

• Don Pedro. That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

• Claudio. Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of
  all, dies for him.

• Don Pedro. She shall be buried with her face upwards.

• Benedick. Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old 1260
  signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight
  or nine wise words to speak to you, which these
  hobby-horses must not hear.

[Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO]

• Don Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. 1265

• Claudio. 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this
  played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two
  bears will not bite one another when they meet.

[Enter DON JOHN]

• Don John. My lord and brother, God save you! 1270

• Don Pedro. Good den, brother.

• Don John. If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

• Don Pedro. In private?

• Don John. If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for
  what I would speak of concerns him. 1275

• Don Pedro. What's the matter?

• Don John. [To CLAUDIO] Means your lordship to be married
  to-morrow?

• Don Pedro. You know he does.

• Don John. I know not that, when he knows what I know. 1280

• Claudio. If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

• Don John. You may think I love you not: let that appear
  hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will
  manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you
  well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect 1285
  your ensuing marriage;—surely suit ill spent and
  labour ill bestowed.

• Don Pedro. Why, what's the matter?

• Don John. I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances
  shortened, for she has been too long a talking of, 1290
  the lady is disloyal.

• Claudio. Who, Hero?

• Don Pedro. Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero:

• Claudio. Disloyal?

• Don John. The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I 1295
  could say she were worse: think you of a worse
  title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till
  further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall
  see her chamber-window entered, even the night
  before her wedding-day: if you love her then, 1300
  to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour
  to change your mind.

• Claudio. May this be so?

• Don Pedro. I will not think it.

• Don John. If you dare not trust that you see, confess not 1305
  that you know: if you will follow me, I will show
  you enough; and when you have seen more and heard
  more, proceed accordingly.

• Claudio. If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry
  her to-morrow in the congregation, where I should 1310
  wed, there will I shame her.

• Don Pedro. And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join
  with thee to disgrace her.

• Don John. I will disparage her no farther till you are my
  witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and 1315
  let the issue show itself.

• Don Pedro. O day untowardly turned!

• Claudio. O mischief strangely thwarting!

• Don John. O plague right well prevented! so will you say when
  you have seen the sequel. 1320

[Exeunt]