Act II, Scene 3

A field near Windsor.

[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY]

• Doctor Caius. Jack Rugby!

• Rugby. Sir?

• Doctor Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack?

• Rugby. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet. 1105

• Doctor Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he
  has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar,
  Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.

• Rugby. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill
  him, if he came. 1110

• Doctor Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.
  Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

• Rugby. Alas, sir, I cannot fence.

• Doctor Caius. Villany, take your rapier.

• Rugby. Forbear; here's company. 1115

[Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE]

• Host. Bless thee, bully doctor!

• Robert Shallow. Save you, Master Doctor Caius!

• Page. Now, good master doctor!

• Slender. Give you good morrow, sir. 1120

• Doctor Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

• Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee
  traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to
  see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
  distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is 1125
  he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my
  AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is
  he dead, bully stale? is he dead?

• Doctor Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he
  is not show his face. 1130

• Host. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!

• Doctor Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or
  seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.

• Robert Shallow. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of
  souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should 1135
  fight, you go against the hair of your professions.
  Is it not true, Master Page?

• Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
  fighter, though now a man of peace.

• Robert Shallow. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of 1140
  the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
  make one. Though we are justices and doctors and
  churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our
  youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.

• Page. 'Tis true, Master Shallow. 1145

• Robert Shallow. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor
  Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of
  the peace: you have showed yourself a wise
  physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise
  and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor. 1150

• Host. Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.

• Doctor Caius. Mock-vater! vat is dat?

• Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

• Doctor Caius. By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de
  Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me 1155
  vill cut his ears.

• Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

• Doctor Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?

• Host. That is, he will make thee amends.

• Doctor Caius. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; 1160
  for, by gar, me vill have it.

• Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.

• Doctor Caius. Me tank you for dat.

• Host. And, moreover, bully,—but first, master guest, and
  Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you 1165
  through the town to Frogmore.

[Aside to them]

• Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

• Host. He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will
  bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well? 1170

• Robert Shallow. We will do it.

• Page. [with Shallow and Slender] Adieu, good master doctor.

[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER]

• Doctor Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a
  jack-an-ape to Anne Page. 1175

• Host. Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold
  water on thy choler: go about the fields with me
  through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress
  Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou
  shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well? 1180

• Doctor Caius. By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you;
  and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl,
  de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

• Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne
  Page. Said I well? 1185

• Doctor Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.

• Host. Let us wag, then.

• Doctor Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

[Exeunt]