Act II, Scene 1

London. A street.

[Enter Corporal NYM and Lieutenant BARDOLPH]

• Bardolph. Well met, Corporal Nym.

• Nym. Good morrow, Lieutenant Bardolph.

• Bardolph. What, are Ancient Pistol and you friends yet? 510

• Nym. For my part, I care not: I say little; but when
  time shall serve, there shall be smiles; but that
  shall be as it may. I dare not fight; but I will
  wink and hold out mine iron: it is a simple one; but
  what though? it will toast cheese, and it will 515
  endure cold as another man's sword will: and
  there's an end.

• Bardolph. I will bestow a breakfast to make you friends; and
  we'll be all three sworn brothers to France: let it
  be so, good Corporal Nym. 520

• Nym. Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's the
  certain of it; and when I cannot live any longer, I
  will do as I may: that is my rest, that is the
  rendezvous of it.

• Bardolph. It is certain, corporal, that he is married to Nell 525
  Quickly: and certainly she did you wrong; for you
  were troth-plight to her.

• Nym. I cannot tell: things must be as they may: men may
  sleep, and they may have their throats about them at
  that time; and some say knives have edges. It must 530
  be as it may: though patience be a tired mare, yet
  she will plod. There must be conclusions. Well, I
  cannot tell.

[Enter PISTOL and Hostess]

• Bardolph. Here comes Ancient Pistol and his wife: good 535
  corporal, be patient here. How now, mine host Pistol!

• Pistol. Base tike, call'st thou me host? Now, by this hand,
  I swear, I scorn the term; Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.

• Hostess Quickly. No, by my troth, not long; for we cannot lodge and
  board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen that live 540
  honestly by the prick of their needles, but it will
  be thought we keep a bawdy house straight.
  [NYM and PISTOL draw]
  O well a day, Lady, if he be not drawn now! we
  shall see wilful adultery and murder committed. 545

• Bardolph. Good lieutenant! good corporal! offer nothing here.

• Nym. Pish!

• Pistol. Pish for thee, Iceland dog! thou prick-ear'd cur of Iceland!

• Hostess Quickly. Good Corporal Nym, show thy valour, and put up your sword.

• Nym. Will you shog off? I would have you solus. 550

• Pistol. 'Solus,' egregious dog? O viper vile!
  The 'solus' in thy most mervailous face;
  The 'solus' in thy teeth, and in thy throat,
  And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy,
  And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth! 555
  I do retort the 'solus' in thy bowels;
  For I can take, and Pistol's cock is up,
  And flashing fire will follow.

• Nym. I am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me. I have an
  humour to knock you indifferently well. If you grow 560
  foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with my
  rapier, as I may, in fair terms: if you would walk
  off, I would prick your guts a little, in good
  terms, as I may: and that's the humour of it.

• Pistol. O braggart vile and damned furious wight! 565
  The grave doth gape, and doting death is near;
  Therefore exhale.

• Bardolph. Hear me, hear me what I say: he that strikes the
  first stroke, I'll run him up to the hilts, as I am a soldier.

[Draws]

• Pistol. An oath of mickle might; and fury shall abate.
  Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give:
  Thy spirits are most tall.

• Nym. I will cut thy throat, one time or other, in fair
  terms: that is the humour of it. 575

• Pistol. 'Couple a gorge!'
  That is the word. I thee defy again.
  O hound of Crete, think'st thou my spouse to get?
  No; to the spital go,
  And from the powdering tub of infamy 580
  Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid's kind,
  Doll Tearsheet she by name, and her espouse:
  I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
  For the only she; and—pauca, there's enough. Go to.

[Enter the Boy]

• Boy. Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master, and
  you, hostess: he is very sick, and would to bed.
  Good Bardolph, put thy face between his sheets, and
  do the office of a warming-pan. Faith, he's very ill.

• Bardolph. Away, you rogue! 590

• Hostess Quickly. By my troth, he'll yield the crow a pudding one of
  these days. The king has killed his heart. Good
  husband, come home presently.

[Exeunt Hostess and Boy]

• Bardolph. Come, shall I make you two friends? We must to 595
  France together: why the devil should we keep
  knives to cut one another's throats?

• Pistol. Let floods o'erswell, and fiends for food howl on!

• Nym. You'll pay me the eight shillings I won of you at betting?

• Pistol. Base is the slave that pays. 600

• Nym. That now I will have: that's the humour of it.

• Pistol. As manhood shall compound: push home.

[They draw]

• Bardolph. By this sword, he that makes the first thrust, I'll
  kill him; by this sword, I will. 605

• Pistol. Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course.

• Bardolph. Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be friends:
  an thou wilt not, why, then, be enemies with me too.
  Prithee, put up.

• Nym. I shall have my eight shillings I won of you at betting? 610

• Pistol. A noble shalt thou have, and present pay;
  And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
  And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood:
  I'll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me;
  Is not this just? for I shall sutler be 615
  Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
  Give me thy hand.

• Nym. I shall have my noble?

• Pistol. In cash most justly paid.

• Nym. Well, then, that's the humour of't. 620

[Re-enter Hostess]

• Hostess Quickly. As ever you came of women, come in quickly to Sir
  John. Ah, poor heart! he is so shaked of a burning
  quotidian tertian, that it is most lamentable to
  behold. Sweet men, come to him. 625

• Nym. The king hath run bad humours on the knight; that's
  the even of it.

• Pistol. Nym, thou hast spoke the right;
  His heart is fracted and corroborate.

• Nym. The king is a good king: but it must be as it may; 630
  he passes some humours and careers.

• Pistol. Let us condole the knight; for, lambkins we will live.