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History of Henry IV, Part II

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Act V, Scene 3

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S orchard



  • Robert Shallow. Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour, we 3395
    will eat a last year's pippin of mine own graffing, with a
    of caraways, and so forth. Come, cousin Silence. And then to
  • Falstaff. Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and rich. 3400
  • Robert Shallow. Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all, Sir
    -marry, good air. Spread, Davy, spread, Davy; well said,
  • Falstaff. This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your 3405
    serving-man and your husband.
  • Robert Shallow. A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet, Sir
    John. By the mass, I have drunk too much sack at supper. A
    varlet. Now sit down, now sit down; come, cousin.
  • Silence. Ah, sirrah! quoth-a—we shall [Singing]
    Do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
    And praise God for the merry year;
    When flesh is cheap and females dear,
    And lusty lads roam here and there, 3415
    So merrily,
    And ever among so merrily.
  • Falstaff. There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll give
    a health for that anon.
  • Davy. Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon; most sweet sir,
    Master Page, good Master Page, sit. Proface! What you want in
    meat, we'll have in drink. But you must bear; the heart's
  • Robert Shallow. Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier
    be merry.
  • Silence. [Singing]
    Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
    For women are shrews, both short and tall;
    'Tis merry in hall when beards wag an;
    And welcome merry Shrove-tide. 3435
    Be merry, be merry.
  • Falstaff. I did not think Master Silence had been a man of this
  • Silence. Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.

Re-enter DAVY

  • Davy. [To BARDOLPH] There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
  • Davy. Your worship! I'll be with you straight. [To BARDOLPH]
    A cup of wine, sir?
  • Silence. [Singing] 3445
    A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
    And drink unto the leman mine;
    And a merry heart lives long-a.
  • Silence. An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' th' 3450
  • Falstaff. Health and long life to you, Master Silence!
  • Silence. [Singing]
    Fill the cup, and let it come,
    I'll pledge you a mile to th' bottom. 3455
  • Robert Shallow. Honest Bardolph, welcome; if thou want'st anything and
    wilt not call, beshrew thy heart. Welcome, my little tiny
    and welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master Bardolph, and to
    the cabileros about London.
  • Davy. I hope to see London once ere I die.
  • Bardolph. An I might see you there, Davy!
  • Robert Shallow. By the mass, you'll crack a quart together—ha! will
    not, Master Bardolph? 3465
  • Robert Shallow. By God's liggens, I thank thee. The knave will stick
    thee, I can assure thee that. 'A will not out, 'a; 'tis true
    bred. 3470
  • Robert Shallow. Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing; be merry.
    [One knocks at door] Look who's at door there, ho! Who


  • Falstaff. [To SILENCE, who has drunk a bumper] Why, now you
    done me right.
  • Silence. [Singing] 3480
    Do me right,
    And dub me knight.
    Is't not so?
  • Silence. Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.

Re-enter DAVY

  • Davy. An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come from
    court with news.
  • Falstaff. From the court? Let him come in.
    [Enter PISTOL]
    How now, Pistol?
  • Pistol. Sir John, God save you!
  • Falstaff. What wind blew you hither, Pistol? 3495
  • Pistol. Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
    thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
  • Silence. By'r lady, I think 'a be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
  • Pistol. Puff! 3500
    Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
    Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
    And helter-skelter have I rode to thee;
    And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
    And golden times, and happy news of price. 3505
  • Falstaff. I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this
  • Pistol. A foutra for the world and worldlings base!
    I speak of Africa and golden joys.
  • Falstaff. O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news? 3510
    Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
  • Silence. [Singing] And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
  • Pistol. Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
    And shall good news be baffled?
    Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap. 3515
  • Pistol. Why, then, lament therefore.
  • Robert Shallow. Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with news from
    court, I take it there's but two ways—either to utter them
    conceal them. I am, sir, under the King, in some authority. 3520
  • Pistol. Under which king, Bezonian? Speak, or die.
  • Pistol. Harry the Fourth—or Fifth? 3525
  • Pistol. A foutra for thine office!
    Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is King;
    Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth.
    When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like 3530
    The bragging Spaniard.
  • Pistol. As nail in door. The things I speak are just.
  • Falstaff. Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert
    choose what office thou wilt in the land, 'tis thine. Pistol, 3535
    will double-charge thee with dignities.
  • Bardolph. O joyful day!
    I would not take a knighthood for my fortune. 3540
  • Pistol. What, I do bring good news?
  • Falstaff. Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my Lord
    Shallow, be what thou wilt—I am Fortune's steward. Get on
    boots; we'll ride all night. O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
    [Exit BARDOLPH] Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal 3545
    devise something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master
    I know the young King is sick for me. Let us take any man's
    horses: the laws of England are at my commandment. Blessed
    they that have been my friends; and woe to my Lord Chief
  • Pistol. Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
    'Where is the life that late I led?' say they. 3555
    Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days! Exeunt