Henry IV, Part II, Act V, Scene 1 :|: Open Source Shakespeare

History of Henry IV, Part II

Act V, Scene 1

Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S house

Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, and PAGE

Robert Shallow. By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night. 3140
What, Davy, I say!

Robert Shallow. I will not excuse you; you shall not be excus'd;
shall not be admitted; there is no excuse shall serve; you
not be excus'd. Why, Davy! 3145

Enter DAVY

Robert Shallow. Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see, 3150
Davy; let me see—yea, marry, William cook, bid him come
Sir John, you shall not be excus'd.

Davy. Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served; and,
again, sir—shall we sow the headland with wheat? 3155

Robert Shallow. With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook—are there
young pigeons?

Davy. Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeing and
plough-irons. 3160

Robert Shallow. Let it be cast, and paid. Sir John, you shall not be
excused.

Davy. Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be had;
sir, do you mean to stop any of William's wages about the
lost the other day at Hinckley fair? 3165

Robert Shallow. 'A shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a couple of
short-legg'd hens, a joint of mutton, and any pretty little
kickshaws, tell William cook. 3170

Robert Shallow. Yea, Davy; I will use him well. A friend i' th' court
better than a penny in purse. Use his men well, Davy; for
are arrant knaves and will backbite. 3175

Davy. No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for they have
marvellous foul linen.

Davy. I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor of
against Clement Perkes o' th' hill.

Robert Shallow. There, is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor.
Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge. 3185

Davy. I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; but yet God
forbid, sir, but a knave should have some countenance at his
friend's request. An honest man, sir, is able to speak for
himself, when a knave is not. I have serv'd your worship 3190
sir, this eight years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter
bear out a knave against an honest man, I have but a very
credit with your worship. The knave is mine honest friend,
therefore, I beseech you, let him be countenanc'd.

Davy. [Exit DAVY] Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come,
with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph. 3200

Robert Shallow. I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master Bardolph.
[To the PAGE] And welcome, my tall fellow. Come, Sir John.

Falstaff. I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow. 3205
[Exit SHALLOW] Bardolph, look to our horses. [Exeunt
and PAGE] If I were sawed into quantities, I should make
dozen of such bearded hermits' staves as Master Shallow. It
wonderful thing to see the semblable coherence of his men's
spirits and his. They, by observing of him, do bear 3210
like foolish justices: he, by conversing with them, is turned
into a justice-like serving-man. Their spirits are so married
conjunction with the participation of society that they flock
together in consent, like so many wild geese. If I had a suit
Master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation of 3215
being near their master; if to his men, I would curry with
Shallow that no man could better command his servants. It is
certain that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
as men take diseases, one of another; therefore let men take
of their company. I will devise matter enough out of this 3220
to keep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out of
fashions, which is four terms, or two actions; and 'a shall
without intervallums. O, it is much that a lie with a slight
oath, and a jest with a sad brow will do with a fellow that
had the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see him laugh 3225
his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!

Exit