Act IV, Scene 3

Another part of the forest

Alarum; excursions. Enter FALSTAFF and COLVILLE, meeting

• Falstaff. What's your name, sir? Of what condition are you, and
  what place, I pray? 2580

• Sir John Colville. I am a knight sir; and my name is Colville of the

• Falstaff. Well then, Colville is your name, a knight is your
  degree, and your place the Dale. Colville shall still be your 2585
  name, a traitor your degree, and the dungeon your place—a
  deep enough; so shall you be still Colville of the Dale.

• Sir John Colville. Are not you Sir John Falstaff?

• Falstaff. As good a man as he, sir, whoe'er I am. Do you yield, 2590
  sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat, they are the
  of thy lovers, and they weep for thy death; therefore rouse
  fear and trembling, and do observance to my mercy.

• Sir John Colville. I think you are Sir John Falstaff, and in that
  yield me.

• Falstaff. I have a whole school of tongues in this belly of
  and not a tongue of them all speaks any other word but my 2600
  An I had but a belly of any indifferency, I were simply the
  active fellow in Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes me.
  Here comes our general.

Enter PRINCE JOHN OF LANCASTER, WESTMORELAND, BLUNT, and others

• Prince John. The heat is past; follow no further now.
  Call in the powers, good cousin Westmoreland.
  [Exit WESTMORELAND] 2610
  Now, Falstaff, where have you been all this while?
  When everything is ended, then you come.
  These tardy tricks of yours will, on my life,
  One time or other break some gallows' back.

• Falstaff. I would be sorry, my lord, but it should be thus: I 2615
  knew yet but rebuke and check was the reward of valour. Do
  think me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? Have I, in my poor
  old motion, the expedition of thought? I have speeded hither
  the very extremest inch of possibility; I have found'red nine
  score and odd posts; and here, travel tainted as I am, have, 2620
  my pure and immaculate valour, taken Sir John Colville of the
  Dale,a most furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of
  He saw me, and yielded; that I may justly say with the
  fellow of Rome-I came, saw, and overcame.

• Prince John. It was more of his courtesy than your deserving.

• Falstaff. I know not. Here he is, and here I yield him; and I
  beseech your Grace, let it be book'd with the rest of this
  deeds; or, by the Lord, I will have it in a particular ballad 2635
  else, with mine own picture on the top on't, Colville kissing
  foot; to the which course if I be enforc'd, if you do not all
  show like gilt twopences to me, and I, in the clear sky of
  o'ershine you as much as the full moon doth the cinders of
  element, which show like pins' heads to her, believe not the 2640
  of the noble. Therefore let me have right, and let desert

• Prince John. Thine's too heavy to mount.

• Falstaff. Let it shine, then.

• Prince John. Thine's too thick to shine. 2650

• Falstaff. Let it do something, my good lord, that may do me
  and call it what you will.

• Prince John. Is thy name Colville?

• Sir John Colville. It is, my lord. 2655

• Prince John. A famous rebel art thou, Colville.

• Falstaff. And a famous true subject took him.

• Sir John Colville. I am, my lord, but as my betters are
  That led me hither. Had they been rul'd by me,
  You should have won them dearer than you have. 2660

• Falstaff. I know not how they sold themselves; but thou, like a
  kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis; and I thank thee for
  thee.

Re-enter WESTMORELAND

• Prince John. Now, have you left pursuit? 2665

• Earl of Westmoreland. Retreat is made, and execution stay'd.

• Prince John. Send Colville, with his confederates,
  To York, to present execution.
  Blunt, lead him hence; and see you guard him sure.
  [Exeunt BLUNT and others] 2670
  And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords.
  I hear the King my father is sore sick.
  Our news shall go before us to his Majesty,
  Which, cousin, you shall bear to comfort him
  And we with sober speed will follow you. 2675

• Falstaff. My lord, I beseech you, give me leave to go through
  Gloucestershire; and, when you come to court, stand my good
  pray, in your good report.

• Prince John. Fare you well, Falstaff. I, in my condition, 2680
  Shall better speak of you than you deserve.

Exeunt all but FALSTAFF

• Falstaff. I would you had but the wit; 'twere better than your
  dukedom. Good faith, this same young sober-blooded boy doth
  love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh—but that's no 2685
  he drinks no wine. There's never none of these demure boys
  to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood,
  making many fish-meals, that they fall into a kind of male
  green-sickness; and then, when they marry, they get wenches.
  are generally fools and cowards-which some of us should be 2690
  but for inflammation. A good sherris-sack hath a two-fold
  operation in it. It ascends me into the brain; dries me there
  the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it;
  apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and
  delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voice, the 2695
  which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second
  your excellent sherris is the warming of the blood; which
  cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the
  badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms
  and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes. 2700
  illumineth the face, which, as a beacon, gives warning to all
  rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the vital
  commoners and inland petty spirits muster me all to their
  captain, the heart, who, great and puff'd up with this
  doth any deed of courage—and this valour comes of sherris. 2705
  that skill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that
  it a-work; and learning, a mere hoard of gold kept by a devil
  till sack commences it and sets it in act and use. Hereof
  it that Prince Harry is valiant; for the cold blood he did
  naturally inherit of his father, he hath, like lean, sterile, 2710
  bare land, manured, husbanded, and till'd, with excellent
  endeavour of drinking good and good store of fertile sherris,
  that he is become very hot and valiant. If I had a thousand
  the first humane principle I would teach them should be to
  forswear thin potations and to addict themselves to sack. 2715
  [Enter BARDOLPH]
  How now, Bardolph!

• Bardolph. The army is discharged all and gone.

• Falstaff. Let them go. I'll through Gloucestershire, and there
  I visit Master Robert Shallow, Esquire. I have him already 2740
  temp'ring between my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I
  with him. Come away. Exeunt