Act III, Scene 2

Gloucestershire. Before Justice, SHALLOW’S house

Enter SHALLOW and SILENCE, meeting; MOULDY, SHADOW, WART, FEEBLE, BULLCALF, and servants behind

• Robert Shallow. Come on, come on, come on; give me your hand, sir;
  your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by the rood! And how doth
  good cousin Silence? 1820

• Silence. Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

• Robert Shallow. And how doth my cousin, your bed-fellow? and your
  daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen? 1825

• Silence. Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!

• Robert Shallow. By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin William is
  a good scholar; he is at Oxford still, is he not?

• Silence. Indeed, sir, to my cost.

• Robert Shallow. 'A must, then, to the Inns o' Court shortly. I was
  Clement's Inn; where I think they will talk of mad Shallow

• Silence. You were call'd 'lusty Shallow' then, cousin.

• Robert Shallow. By the mass, I was call'd anything; and I would have
  anything indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little
  John Doit of Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and
  Pickbone, and Will Squele a Cotsole man—you had not four 1840
  swinge-bucklers in all the Inns of Court again. And I may say
  you we knew where the bona-robas were, and had the best of
  all at commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir John,
  and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.

• Silence. This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about
  soldiers?

• Robert Shallow. The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break
  Scoggin's head at the court gate, when 'a was a crack not
  high; and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson 1855
  Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray's Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the
  days that I have spent! and to see how many of my old
  acquaintance are dead!

• Silence. We shall all follow, cousin.

• Robert Shallow. Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure. Death, as
  Psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall die. How a good
  of bullocks at Stamford fair?

• Silence. By my troth, I was not there.

• Robert Shallow. Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living

• Silence. Dead, sir. 1870

• Robert Shallow. Jesu, Jesu, dead! drew a good bow; and dead! 'A shot a
  fine shoot. John a Gaunt loved him well, and betted much
  his head. Dead! 'A would have clapp'd i' th' clout at twelve
  score, and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and
  and a half, that it would have done a man's heart good to 1875
  How a score of ewes now?

• Silence. Thereafter as they be—a score of good ewes may be 1880
  ten pounds.

• Robert Shallow. And is old Double dead?

Enter BARDOLPH, and one with him

• Silence. Here come two of Sir John Falstaffs men, as I think. 1885

• Robert Shallow. Good morrow, honest gentlemen.

• Bardolph. I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?

• Robert Shallow. I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of this
  and one of the King's justices of the peace. What is your
  pleasure with me? 1890

• Bardolph. My captain, sir, commends him to you; my captain, Sir
  John Falstaff—a tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most
  leader. 1895

• Robert Shallow. He greets me well, sir; I knew him a good back-sword
  How doth the good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife

• Bardolph. Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated than
  wife.

• Robert Shallow. It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said
  too. 'Better accommodated!' It is good; yea, indeed, is it. 1905
  phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable.
  'Accommodated!' It comes of accommodo. Very good; a good

• Bardolph. Pardon, sir; I have heard the word. 'Phrase' call you
  By this day, I know not the phrase; but I will maintain the
  with my sword to be a soldier-like word, and a word of
  good command, by heaven. Accommodated: that is, when a man
  they say, accommodated; or, when a man is being-whereby 'a 1915
  thought to be accommodated; which is an excellent thing.

Enter FALSTAFF

• Robert Shallow. It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir John. Give
  your good hand, give me your worship's good hand. By my
  you like well and bear your years very well. Welcome, good 1925
  John.

• Falstaff. I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert 1930
  Master Surecard, as I think?

• Robert Shallow. No, Sir John; it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.

• Falstaff. Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of
  peace. 1935

• Silence. Your good worship is welcome.

• Falstaff. Fie! this is hot weather. Gentlemen, have you
  here half a dozen sufficient men?

• Robert Shallow. Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?

• Falstaff. Let me see them, I beseech you.

• Robert Shallow. Where's the roll? Where's the roll? Where's the roll?
  me see, let me see, let me see. So, so, so, so,—so, so—yea,
  marry, sir. Rafe Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them 1945
  so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?

• Ralph Mouldy. Here, an't please you.

• Robert Shallow. What think you, Sir John? A good-limb'd fellow; young, 1950
  strong, and of good friends.

• Falstaff. Is thy name Mouldy?

• Ralph Mouldy. Yea, an't please you.

• Falstaff. 'Tis the more time thou wert us'd.

• Robert Shallow. Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i' faith! Things that are 1955
  mouldy lack use. Very singular good! In faith, well said, Sir
  John; very well said.

• Falstaff. Prick him.

• Ralph Mouldy. I was prick'd well enough before, an you could have let
  alone. My old dame will be undone now for one to do her 1960
  and her drudgery. You need not to have prick'd me; there are
  other men fitter to go out than I.

• Falstaff. Go to; peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is 1965
  you were spent.

• Ralph Mouldy. Spent!

• Robert Shallow. Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside; know you where you
  For th' other, Sir John—let me see. Simon Shadow! 1970

• Falstaff. Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He's like
  a cold soldier.

• Robert Shallow. Where's Shadow? 1975

• Simon Shadow. Here, sir.

• Falstaff. Shadow, whose son art thou?

• Simon Shadow. My mother's son, sir.

• Falstaff. Thy mother's son! Like enough; and thy father's
  So the son of the female is the shadow of the male. It is 1980
  so indeed; but much of the father's substance!

• Robert Shallow. Do you like him, Sir John?

• Falstaff. Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him; for we have 1985
  number of shadows fill up the muster-book.

• Robert Shallow. Thomas Wart!

• Falstaff. Where's he?

• Thomas Wart. Here, sir. 1990

• Falstaff. Is thy name Wart?

• Thomas Wart. Yea, sir.

• Falstaff. Thou art a very ragged wart.

• Robert Shallow. Shall I prick him, Sir John?

• Falstaff. It were superfluous; for his apparel is built upon 1995
  back, and the whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no

• Robert Shallow. Ha, ha, ha! You can do it, sir; you can do it. I
  you well. Francis Feeble! 2000

• Francis Feeble. Here, sir.

• Falstaff. What trade art thou, Feeble?

• Francis Feeble. A woman's tailor, sir.

• Robert Shallow. Shall I prick him, sir? 2005

• Falstaff. You may; but if he had been a man's tailor, he'd ha'
  prick'd you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's
  thou hast done in a woman's petticoat?

• Francis Feeble. I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more. 2010

• Falstaff. Well said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous
  Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most
  magnanimous mouse. Prick the woman's tailor—well, Master
  Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.

• Francis Feeble. I would Wart might have gone, sir. 2015

• Falstaff. I would thou wert a man's tailor, that thou mightst
  him and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private
  soldier, that is the leader of so many thousands. Let that
  suffice, most forcible Feeble.

• Francis Feeble. It shall suffice, sir.

• Falstaff. I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?

• Robert Shallow. Peter Bullcalf o' th' green!

• Falstaff. Yea, marry, let's see Bullcalf.

• Peter Bullcalf. Here, sir. 2025

• Falstaff. Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf
  he roar again.

• Peter Bullcalf. O Lord! good my lord captain-

• Falstaff. What, dost thou roar before thou art prick'd? 2030

• Peter Bullcalf. O Lord, sir! I am a diseased man.

• Falstaff. What disease hast thou?

• Peter Bullcalf. A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught
  ringing in the King's affairs upon his coronation day, sir.

• Falstaff. Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown. We will
  away thy cold; and I will take such order that thy friends
  ring for thee. Is here all?

• Robert Shallow. Here is two more call'd than your number. You must
  but four here, sir; and so, I pray you, go in with me to

• Falstaff. Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry 2045
  dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.

• Robert Shallow. O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in
  windmill in Saint George's Field?

• Falstaff. No more of that, Master Shallow, no more of that. 2050

• Robert Shallow. Ha, 'twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?

• Falstaff. She lives, Master Shallow.

• Robert Shallow. She never could away with me.

• Falstaff. Never, never; she would always say she could not
  Master Shallow. 2055

• Robert Shallow. By the mass, I could anger her to th' heart. She was
  a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well?

• Falstaff. Old, old, Master Shallow. 2060

• Robert Shallow. Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old;
  certain she's old; and had Robin Nightwork, by old Nightwork,
  before I came to Clement's Inn.

• Silence. That's fifty-five year ago.

• Robert Shallow. Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that 2065
  knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?

• Falstaff. We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

• Robert Shallow. That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith,
  John, we have. Our watchword was 'Hem, boys!' Come, let's to 2070
  dinner; come, let's to dinner. Jesus, the days that we have
  Come, come.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES

• Peter Bullcalf. Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and
  here's four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In
  truth, sir, I had as lief be hang'd, sir, as go. And yet, for
  mine own part, sir, I do not care; but rather because I am
  unwilling and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with 2080
  friends; else, sir, I did not care for mine own part so much.

• Bardolph. Go to; stand aside.

• Ralph Mouldy. And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my old dame's 2085
  stand my friend. She has nobody to do anything about her when
  am gone; and she is old, and cannot help herself. You shall
  forty, sir.

• Bardolph. Go to; stand aside.

• Francis Feeble. By my troth, I care not; a man can die but once; we owe
  a death. I'll ne'er bear a base mind. An't be my destiny, so;
  an't be not, so. No man's too good to serve 's Prince; and, 2095
  it go which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for
  next.

• Bardolph. Well said; th'art a good fellow.

• Francis Feeble. Faith, I'll bear no base mind.

Re-enter FALSTAFF and the JUSTICES

• Falstaff. Come, sir, which men shall I have?

• Robert Shallow. Four of which you please. 2105

• Bardolph. Sir, a word with you. I have three pound to free
  and Bullcalf.

• Falstaff. Go to; well.

• Robert Shallow. Come, Sir John, which four will you have? 2110

• Falstaff. Do you choose for me.

• Robert Shallow. Marry, then—Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.

• Falstaff. Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home
  you are past service; and for your part, Bullcalf, grow you
  unto it. I will none of you. 2115

• Robert Shallow. Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. They are
  likeliest men, and I would have you serv'd with the best.

• Falstaff. Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a
  Care I for the limb, the thews, the stature, bulk, and big
  assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, Master Shallow.
  Wart; you see what a ragged appearance it is. 'A shall charge
  and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer's hammer, 2125
  off and on swifter than he that gibbets on the brewer's
  And this same half-fac'd fellow, Shadow—give me this man. He
  presents no mark to the enemy; the foeman may with as great
  level at the edge of a penknife. And, for a retreat—how
  will this Feeble, the woman's tailor, run off! O, give me the 2130
  spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into
  Wart's hand, Bardolph.

• Bardolph. Hold, Wart. Traverse—thus, thus, thus. 2140

• Falstaff. Come, manage me your caliver. So—very well. Go to;
  good; exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old,
  chopt, bald shot. Well said, i' faith, Wart; th'art a good
  Hold, there's a tester for thee.

• Robert Shallow. He is not his craft's master, he doth not do it right.
  remember at Mile-end Green, when I lay at Clement's Inn—I
  then Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show—there was a little quiver
  fellow, and 'a would manage you his piece thus; and 'a would 2150
  about and about, and come you in and come you in. 'Rah, tah,
  tah!' would 'a say; 'Bounce!' would 'a say; and away again
  'a go, and again would 'a come. I shall ne'er see such a

• Falstaff. These fellows will do well. Master Shallow, God keep
  Master Silence, I will not use many words with you: Fare you
  well! Gentlemen both, I thank you. I must a dozen mile 2160
  Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.

• Robert Shallow. Sir John, the Lord bless you; God prosper your
  God send us peace! At your return, visit our house; let our 2165
  acquaintance be renewed. Peradventure I will with ye to the
  court.

• Falstaff. Fore God, would you would. 2170

• Robert Shallow. Go to; I have spoke at a word. God keep you.

• Falstaff. Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. [Exeunt JUSTICES] On,
  Bardolph; lead the men away. [Exeunt all but FALSTAFF] As I
  return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see the bottom of
  justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this 2175
  vice of lying! This same starv'd justice hath done nothing but
  prate to me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath
  done about Turnbull Street; and every third word a lie, duer paid
  to the hearer than the Turk's tribute. I do remember him at
  Clement's Inn, like a man made after supper of a cheese-paring. 2180
  When 'a was naked, he was for all the world like a fork'd radish,
  with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife. 'A was so
  forlorn that his dimensions to any thick sight were invisible. 'A
  was the very genius of famine; yet lecherous as a monkey, and the
  whores call'd him mandrake. 'A came ever in the rearward of the 2185
  fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutch'd huswifes that
  he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they were his fancies or
  his good-nights. And now is this Vice's dagger become a squire,
  and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn
  brother to him; and I'll be sworn 'a ne'er saw him but once in 2190
  the Tiltyard; and then he burst his head for crowding among the
  marshal's men. I saw it, and told John a Gaunt he beat his own
  name; for you might have thrust him and all his apparel into an
  eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a
  court—and now has he land and beeves. Well, I'll be acquainted 2195
  with him if I return; and 't shall go hard but I'll make him a
  philosopher's two stones to me. If the young dace be a bait for
  the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap
  at him. Let time shape, and there an end. Exit