Act II, Scene 5

Alexandria. CLEOPATRA’s palace.

[Enter CLEOPATRA, CHARMIAN, IRAS, and ALEXAS]

• Cleopatra. Give me some music; music, moody food
  Of us that trade in love. 1050

• Attendants. The music, ho!

[Enter MARDIAN]

• Cleopatra. Let it alone; let's to billiards: come, Charmian.

• Charmian. My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.

• Cleopatra. As well a woman with an eunuch play'd 1055
  As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?

• Mardian. As well as I can, madam.

• Cleopatra. And when good will is show'd, though't come
  too short,
  The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now: 1060
  Give me mine angle; we'll to the river: there,
  My music playing far off, I will betray
  Tawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce
  Their slimy jaws; and, as I draw them up,
  I'll think them every one an Antony, 1065
  And say 'Ah, ha! you're caught.'

• Charmian. 'Twas merry when
  You wager'd on your angling; when your diver
  Did hang a salt-fish on his hook, which he
  With fervency drew up. 1070

• Cleopatra. That time,—O times!—
  I laugh'd him out of patience; and that night
  I laugh'd him into patience; and next morn,
  Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed;
  Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst 1075
  I wore his sword Philippan.
  [Enter a Messenger]
  O, from Italy
  Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears,
  That long time have been barren. 1080

• Messenger. Madam, madam,—

• Cleopatra. Antonius dead!—If thou say so, villain,
  Thou kill'st thy mistress: but well and free,
  If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here
  My bluest veins to kiss; a hand that kings 1085
  Have lipp'd, and trembled kissing.

• Messenger. First, madam, he is well.

• Cleopatra. Why, there's more gold.
  But, sirrah, mark, we use
  To say the dead are well: bring it to that, 1090
  The gold I give thee will I melt and pour
  Down thy ill-uttering throat.

• Messenger. Good madam, hear me.

• Cleopatra. Well, go to, I will;
  But there's no goodness in thy face: if Antony 1095
  Be free and healthful,—so tart a favour
  To trumpet such good tidings! If not well,
  Thou shouldst come like a Fury crown'd with snakes,
  Not like a formal man.

• Messenger. Will't please you hear me? 1100

• Cleopatra. I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st:
  Yet if thou say Antony lives, is well,
  Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,
  I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail
  Rich pearls upon thee. 1105

• Messenger. Madam, he's well.

• Cleopatra. Well said.

• Messenger. And friends with Caesar.

• Cleopatra. Thou'rt an honest man.

• Messenger. Caesar and he are greater friends than ever. 1110

• Cleopatra. Make thee a fortune from me.

• Messenger. But yet, madam,—

• Cleopatra. I do not like 'But yet,' it does allay
  The good precedence; fie upon 'But yet'!
  'But yet' is as a gaoler to bring forth 1115
  Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,
  Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
  The good and bad together: he's friends with Caesar:
  In state of health thou say'st; and thou say'st free.

• Messenger. Free, madam! no; I made no such report: 1120
  He's bound unto Octavia.

• Cleopatra. For what good turn?

• Messenger. For the best turn i' the bed.

• Cleopatra. I am pale, Charmian.

• Messenger. Madam, he's married to Octavia. 1125

• Cleopatra. The most infectious pestilence upon thee!

[Strikes him down]

• Messenger. Good madam, patience.

• Cleopatra. What say you? Hence,
  [Strikes him again] 1130
  Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes
  Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head:
  [She hales him up and down]
  Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd in brine,
  Smarting in lingering pickle. 1135

• Messenger. Gracious madam,
  I that do bring the news made not the match.

• Cleopatra. Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee,
  And make thy fortunes proud: the blow thou hadst
  Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage; 1140
  And I will boot thee with what gift beside
  Thy modesty can beg.

• Messenger. He's married, madam.

• Cleopatra. Rogue, thou hast lived too long.

[Draws a knife]

• Messenger. Nay, then I'll run.
  What mean you, madam? I have made no fault.

[Exit]

• Charmian. Good madam, keep yourself within yourself:
  The man is innocent. 1150

• Cleopatra. Some innocents 'scape not the thunderbolt.
  Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures
  Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again:
  Though I am mad, I will not bite him: call.

• Charmian. He is afeard to come. 1155

• Cleopatra. I will not hurt him.
  [Exit CHARMIAN]
  These hands do lack nobility, that they strike
  A meaner than myself; since I myself
  Have given myself the cause. 1160
  [Re-enter CHARMIAN and Messenger]
  Come hither, sir.
  Though it be honest, it is never good
  To bring bad news: give to a gracious message.
  An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell 1165
  Themselves when they be felt.

• Messenger. I have done my duty.

• Cleopatra. Is he married?
  I cannot hate thee worser than I do,
  If thou again say 'Yes.' 1170

• Messenger. He's married, madam.

• Cleopatra. The gods confound thee! dost thou hold there still?

• Messenger. Should I lie, madam?

• Cleopatra. O, I would thou didst,
  So half my Egypt were submerged and made 1175
  A cistern for scaled snakes! Go, get thee hence:
  Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me
  Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?

• Messenger. I crave your highness' pardon.

• Cleopatra. He is married? 1180

• Messenger. Take no offence that I would not offend you:
  To punish me for what you make me do.
  Seems much unequal: he's married to Octavia.

• Cleopatra. O, that his fault should make a knave of thee,
  That art not what thou'rt sure of! Get thee hence: 1185
  The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome
  Are all too dear for me: lie they upon thy hand,
  And be undone by 'em!

[Exit Messenger]

• Charmian. Good your highness, patience. 1190

• Cleopatra. In praising Antony, I have dispraised Caesar.

• Charmian. Many times, madam.

• Cleopatra. I am paid for't now.
  Lead me from hence:
  I faint: O Iras, Charmian! 'tis no matter. 1195
  Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him
  Report the feature of Octavia, her years,
  Her inclination, let him not leave out
  The colour of her hair: bring me word quickly.
  [Exit ALEXAS] 1200
  Let him for ever go:—let him not—Charmian,
  Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,
  The other way's a Mars. Bid you Alexas
  [To MARDIAN]
  Bring me word how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian, 1205
  But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber.

[Exeunt]