Act IV, Scene 4

A street.

[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer]

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
  I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money, 1250
  To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
  My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
  And will not lightly trust the messenger
  That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
  I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears. 1255
  [Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope's-end]
  Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
  How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

• Dromio of Ephesus. Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. But where's the money? 1260

• Dromio of Ephesus. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

• Dromio of Ephesus. I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

• Dromio of Ephesus. To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned. 1265

• Antipholus of Ephesus. And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

[Beating him]

• Officer. Good sir, be patient.

• Dromio of Ephesus. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

• Officer. Good, now, hold thy tongue. 1270

• Dromio of Ephesus. Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Thou whoreson, senseless villain!

• Dromio of Ephesus. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
  your blows.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an 1275
  ass.

• Dromio of Ephesus. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
  ears. I have served him from the hour of my
  nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
  hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he 1280
  heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
  with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
  raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
  it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
  I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a 1285
  beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
  lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.

[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and PINCH]

• Dromio of Ephesus. Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or 1290
  rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
  rope's-end.'

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Wilt thou still talk?

[Beating him]

• Courtezan. How say you now? is not your husband mad? 1295

• Adriana. His incivility confirms no less.
  Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
  Establish him in his true sense again,
  And I will please you what you will demand.

• Luciana. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! 1300

• Courtezan. Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!

• Pinch. Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

[Striking him]

• Pinch. I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man, 1305
  To yield possession to my holy prayers
  And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
  I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.

• Adriana. O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul! 1310

• Antipholus of Ephesus. You minion, you, are these your customers?
  Did this companion with the saffron face
  Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
  Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
  And I denied to enter in my house? 1315

• Adriana. O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
  Where would you had remain'd until this time,
  Free from these slanders and this open shame!

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?

• Dromio of Ephesus. Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home. 1320

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?

• Dromio of Ephesus. Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. And did not she herself revile me there?

• Dromio of Ephesus. Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me? 1325

• Dromio of Ephesus. Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. And did not I in rage depart from thence?

• Dromio of Ephesus. In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
  That since have felt the vigour of his rage.

• Adriana. Is't good to soothe him in these contraries? 1330

• Pinch. It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,
  And yielding to him humours well his frenzy.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.

• Adriana. Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
  By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. 1335

• Dromio of Ephesus. Money by me! heart and goodwill you might;
  But surely master, not a rag of money.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?

• Adriana. He came to me and I deliver'd it.

• Luciana. And I am witness with her that she did. 1340

• Dromio of Ephesus. God and the rope-maker bear me witness
  That I was sent for nothing but a rope!

• Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
  I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
  They must be bound and laid in some dark room. 1345

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
  And why dost thou deny the bag of gold?

• Adriana. I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

• Dromio of Ephesus. And, gentle master, I received no gold;
  But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out. 1350

• Adriana. Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
  And art confederate with a damned pack
  To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
  But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes 1355
  That would behold in me this shameful sport.
  [Enter three or four, and offer to bind him.]
  He strives]

• Adriana. O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.

• Pinch. More company! The fiend is strong within him. 1360

• Luciana. Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!

• Antipholus of Ephesus. What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
  I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
  To make a rescue?

• Officer. Masters, let him go 1365
  He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.

• Pinch. Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.

[They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus]

• Adriana. What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
  Hast thou delight to see a wretched man 1370
  Do outrage and displeasure to himself?

• Officer. He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
  The debt he owes will be required of me.

• Adriana. I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
  Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, 1375
  And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
  Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
  Home to my house. O most unhappy day!

• Antipholus of Ephesus. O most unhappy strumpet!

• Dromio of Ephesus. Master, I am here entered in bond for you. 1380

• Antipholus of Ephesus. Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?

• Dromio of Ephesus. Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master:
  cry 'The devil!'

• Luciana. God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!

• Adriana. Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me. 1385
  [Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and]
  Courtezan]
  Say now, whose suit is he arrested at?

• Officer. One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?

• Adriana. I know the man. What is the sum he owes? 1390

• Officer. Two hundred ducats.

• Adriana. Say, how grows it due?

• Officer. Due for a chain your husband had of him.

• Adriana. He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.

• Courtezan. When as your husband all in rage to-day 1395
  Came to my house and took away my ring—
  The ring I saw upon his finger now—
  Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

• Adriana. It may be so, but I did never see it.
  Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is: 1400
  I long to know the truth hereof at large.
  [Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn,]
  and DROMIO of Syracuse]

• Luciana. God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.

• Adriana. And come with naked swords. 1405
  Let's call more help to have them bound again.

• Officer. Away! they'll kill us.
  [Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio]
  of Syracuse]

• Antipholus of Syracuse. I see these witches are afraid of swords. 1410

• Dromio of Syracuse. She that would be your wife now ran from you.

• Antipholus of Syracuse. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
  I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

• Dromio of Syracuse. Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
  no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold: 1415
  methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
  the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
  me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
  turn witch.

• Antipholus of Syracuse. I will not stay to-night for all the town; 1420
  Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard.

[Exeunt]