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Speeches (Lines) for Dromio of Syracuse
in "Comedy of Errors"

Total: 99

# Act, Scene, Line
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Speech text



Antipholus of Syracuse. Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
Within this hour it will be dinner-time:
Till that, I'll view the manners of the town,
Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
And then return and sleep within mine inn,
For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
Get thee away.

Dromio of Syracuse. Many a man would take you at your word,
And go indeed, having so good a mean.



Antipholus of Syracuse. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave
Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out
By computation and mine host's report.
I could not speak with Dromio since at first
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.
[Enter DROMIO of Syracuse]
How now sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? you received no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

Dromio of Syracuse. What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?



Antipholus of Syracuse. Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

Dromio of Syracuse. I did not see you since you sent me hence,
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt,
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner;
For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased.

Dromio of Syracuse. I am glad to see you in this merry vein:
What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.



(stage directions). [Beating him]

Dromio of Syracuse. Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest:
Upon what bargain do you give it me?



Antipholus of Syracuse. Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport,
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanor to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.

Dromio of Syracuse. Sconce call you it? so you would leave battering, I
had rather have it a head: an you use these blows
long, I must get a sconce for my head and ensconce
it too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders.
But, I pray, sir why am I beaten?



Antipholus of Syracuse. Dost thou not know?

Dromio of Syracuse. Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Shall I tell you why?

Dromio of Syracuse. Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every why hath
a wherefore.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Why, first,—for flouting me; and then, wherefore—
For urging it the second time to me.

Dromio of Syracuse. Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme
nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Thank me, sir, for what?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.



Antipholus of Syracuse. I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for
something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time?

Dromio of Syracuse. No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have.



Antipholus of Syracuse. In good time, sir; what's that?

Dromio of Syracuse. Basting.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.

Dromio of Syracuse. If it be, sir, I pray you, eat none of it.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Your reason?

Dromio of Syracuse. Lest it make you choleric and purchase me another
dry basting.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a
time for all things.

Dromio of Syracuse. I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.



Antipholus of Syracuse. By what rule, sir?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald
pate of father Time himself.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Let's hear it.

Dromio of Syracuse. There's no time for a man to recover his hair that
grows bald by nature.



Antipholus of Syracuse. May he not do it by fine and recovery?

Dromio of Syracuse. Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and recover the
lost hair of another man.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is,
so plentiful an excrement?

Dromio of Syracuse. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts;
and what he hath scanted men in hair he hath given them in wit.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.

Dromio of Syracuse. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.

Dromio of Syracuse. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he loseth
it in a kind of jollity.



Antipholus of Syracuse. For what reason?

Dromio of Syracuse. For two; and sound ones too.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Nay, not sound, I pray you.

Dromio of Syracuse. Sure ones, then.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.

Dromio of Syracuse. Certain ones then.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Name them.

Dromio of Syracuse. The one, to save the money that he spends in
trimming; the other, that at dinner they should not
drop in his porridge.



Antipholus of Syracuse. You would all this time have proved there is no
time for all things.

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to recover hair
lost by nature.



Antipholus of Syracuse. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no
time to recover.

Dromio of Syracuse. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald and therefore
to the world's end will have bald followers.



Antipholus of Syracuse. By Dromio?

Dromio of Syracuse. By me?



Antipholus of Syracuse. Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?
What is the course and drift of your compact?

Dromio of Syracuse. I, sir? I never saw her till this time.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Villain, thou liest; for even her very words
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.

Dromio of Syracuse. I never spake with her in all my life.



Luciana. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.

Dromio of Syracuse. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.
This is the fairy land: O spite of spites!
We talk with goblins, owls and sprites:
If we obey them not, this will ensue,
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.



Luciana. Why pratest thou to thyself and answer'st not?
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!

Dromio of Syracuse. I am transformed, master, am I not?



Antipholus of Syracuse. I think thou art in mind, and so am I.

Dromio of Syracuse. Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Thou hast thine own form.

Dromio of Syracuse. No, I am an ape.



Luciana. If thou art changed to aught, 'tis to an ass.

Dromio of Syracuse. 'Tis true; she rides me and I long for grass.
'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be
But I should know her as well as she knows me.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad or well-advised?
Known unto these, and to myself disguised!
I'll say as they say and persever so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dromio of Syracuse. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?



Dromio of Ephesus. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicel, Gillian, Ginn!

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb,
idiot, patch!
Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch.
Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st
for such store,
When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.



Dromio of Ephesus. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in
the street.

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he
catch cold on's feet.



Antipholus of Ephesus. Who talks within there? ho, open the door!

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] Right, sir; I'll tell you when, an you tell
me wherefore.



Antipholus of Ephesus. Wherefore? for my dinner: I have not dined to-day.

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] Nor to-day here you must not; come again
when you may.



Antipholus of Ephesus. What art thou that keepest me out from the house I owe?

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] The porter for this time, sir, and my name
is Dromio.



Luce. [Within] Have at you with another; that's—When?
can you tell?

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] If thy name be call'd Luce—Luce, thou hast
answered him well.



Luce. [Within] I thought to have asked you.

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] And you said no.



Adriana. [Within] Who is that at the door that keeps all
this noise?

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] By my troth, your town is troubled with
unruly boys.



Antipholus of Ephesus. Go fetch me something: I'll break ope the gate.

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] Break any breaking here, and I'll break your
knave's pate.



Dromio of Ephesus. A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind,
Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] It seems thou want'st breaking: out upon
thee, hind!



Dromio of Ephesus. Here's too much 'out upon thee!' I pray thee,
let me in.

Dromio of Syracuse. [Within] Ay, when fowls have no feathers and fish have no fin.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Why, how now, Dromio! where runn'st thou so fast?

Dromio of Syracuse. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man?
am I myself?



Antipholus of Syracuse. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

Dromio of Syracuse. I am an ass, I am a woman's man and besides myself.



Antipholus of Syracuse. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? besides thyself?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one
that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me.



Antipholus of Syracuse. What claim lays she to thee?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry sir, such claim as you would lay to your
horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I
being a beast, she would have me; but that she,
being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.



Antipholus of Syracuse. What is she?

Dromio of Syracuse. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may
not speak of without he say 'Sir-reverence.' I have
but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a
wondrous fat marriage.



Antipholus of Syracuse. How dost thou mean a fat marriage?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen wench and all grease;
and I know not what use to put her to but to make a
lamp of her and run from her by her own light. I
warrant, her rags and the tallow in them will burn a
Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday,
she'll burn a week longer than the whole world.



Antipholus of Syracuse. What complexion is she of?

Dromio of Syracuse. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing half so
clean kept: for why, she sweats; a man may go over
shoes in the grime of it.



Antipholus of Syracuse. That's a fault that water will mend.

Dromio of Syracuse. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.



Antipholus of Syracuse. What's her name?

Dromio of Syracuse. Nell, sir; but her name and three quarters, that's
an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from
hip to hip.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Then she bears some breadth?

Dromio of Syracuse. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip:
she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out
countries in her.



Antipholus of Syracuse. In what part of her body stands Ireland?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, in her buttocks: I found it out by the bogs.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Where Scotland?

Dromio of Syracuse. I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Where France?

Dromio of Syracuse. In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war
against her heir.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Where England?

Dromio of Syracuse. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no
whiteness in them; but I guess it stood in her chin,
by the salt rheum that ran between France and it.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Where Spain?

Dromio of Syracuse. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Where America, the Indies?

Dromio of Syracuse. Oh, sir, upon her nose all o'er embellished with
rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich
aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole
armadoes of caracks to be ballast at her nose.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands?

Dromio of Syracuse. Oh, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this
drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call'd me
Dromio; swore I was assured to her; told me what
privy marks I had about me, as, the mark of my
shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my
left arm, that I amazed ran from her as a witch:
And, I think, if my breast had not been made of
faith and my heart of steel,
She had transform'd me to a curtal dog and made
me turn i' the wheel.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Go hie thee presently, post to the road:
An if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town to-night:
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk till thou return to me.
If every one knows us and we know none,
'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone.

Dromio of Syracuse. As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife.



(stage directions). [Enter DROMIO of Syracuse, from the bay]

Dromio of Syracuse. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum
That stays but till her owner comes aboard,
And then, sir, she bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,
I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought
The oil, the balsamum and aqua-vitae.
The ship is in her trim; the merry wind
Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all
But for their owner, master, and yourself.



Antipholus of Ephesus. How now! a madman! Why, thou peevish sheep,
What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

Dromio of Syracuse. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.



Antipholus of Ephesus. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope;
And told thee to what purpose and what end.

Dromio of Syracuse. You sent me for a rope's end as soon:
You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.



Antipholus of Ephesus. I will debate this matter at more leisure
And teach your ears to list me with more heed.
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:
Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry,
There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:
Tell her I am arrested in the street
And that shall bail me; hie thee, slave, be gone!
On, officer, to prison till it come.
[Exeunt Second Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and]
Antipholus of Ephesus]

Dromio of Syracuse. To Adriana! that is where we dined,
Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:
She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
Thither I must, although against my will,
For servants must their masters' minds fulfil.



(stage directions). [Enter DROMIO of Syracuse]

Dromio of Syracuse. Here! go; the desk, the purse! sweet, now, make haste.



Luciana. How hast thou lost thy breath?

Dromio of Syracuse. By running fast.



Adriana. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well?

Dromio of Syracuse. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell.
A devil in an everlasting garment hath him;
One whose hard heart is button'd up with steel;
A fiend, a fury, pitiless and rough;
A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff;
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that
The passages of alleys, creeks and narrow lands;
A hound that runs counter and yet draws dryfoot well;
One that before the judgement carries poor souls to hell.



Adriana. Why, man, what is the matter?

Dromio of Syracuse. I do not know the matter: he is 'rested on the case.



Adriana. What, is he arrested? Tell me at whose suit.

Dromio of Syracuse. I know not at whose suit he is arrested well;
But he's in a suit of buff which 'rested him, that can I tell.
Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk?



Adriana. Go fetch it, sister.
[Exit Luciana]
This I wonder at,
That he, unknown to me, should be in debt.
Tell me, was he arrested on a band?

Dromio of Syracuse. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing;
A chain, a chain! Do you not hear it ring?



Adriana. What, the chain?

Dromio of Syracuse. No, no, the bell: 'tis time that I were gone:
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock
strikes one.



Adriana. The hours come back! that did I never hear.

Dromio of Syracuse. O, yes; if any hour meet a sergeant, a' turns back for
very fear.



Adriana. As if Time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason!

Dromio of Syracuse. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he's
worth, to season.
Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say
That Time comes stealing on by night and day?
If Time be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way,
Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?



(stage directions). [Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE]

Dromio of Syracuse. Master, here's the gold you sent me for. What, have
you got the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?



Antipholus of Syracuse. What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?

Dromio of Syracuse. Not that Adam that kept the Paradise but that Adam
that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's
skin that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came
behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you
forsake your liberty.



Antipholus of Syracuse. I understand thee not.

Dromio of Syracuse. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a
bass-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir,
that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob
and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed
men and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up
his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a



Antipholus of Syracuse. What, thou meanest an officer?

Dromio of Syracuse. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band, he that brings
any man to answer it that breaks his band; one that
thinks a man always going to bed, and says, 'God
give you good rest!'



Antipholus of Syracuse. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any

Dromio of Syracuse. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the
bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were
you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy
Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to
deliver you.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.

Dromio of Syracuse. Master, is this Mistress Satan?



Antipholus of Syracuse. It is the devil.

Dromio of Syracuse. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here
she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof
comes that the wenches say 'God damn me;' that's as
much to say 'God make me a light wench.' It is
written, they appear to men like angels of light:
light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn;
ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.



Courtezan. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here?

Dromio of Syracuse. Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat; or bespeak a
long spoon.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Why, Dromio?

Dromio of Syracuse. Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with
the devil.



Courtezan. Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

Dromio of Syracuse. Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
A nut, a cherry-stone;
But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
Master, be wise: an if you give it her,
The devil will shake her chain and fright us with it.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.

Dromio of Syracuse. 'Fly pride,' says the peacock: mistress, that you know.



Antipholus of Syracuse. I see these witches are afraid of swords.

Dromio of Syracuse. She that would be your wife now ran from you.



Antipholus of Syracuse. Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
I long that we were safe and sound aboard.

Dromio of Syracuse. Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
turn witch.



Adriana. Hold, hurt him not, for God's sake! he is mad.
Some get within him, take his sword away:
Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.

Dromio of Syracuse. Run, master, run; for God's sake, take a house!
This is some priory. In, or we are spoil'd!
[Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse]
to the Priory]



Solinus. One of these men is Genius to the other;
And so of these. Which is the natural man,
And which the spirit? who deciphers them?

Dromio of Syracuse. I, sir, am Dromio; command him away.



Antipholus of Syracuse. AEgeon art thou not? or else his ghost?

Dromio of Syracuse. O, my old master! who hath bound him here?



Solinus. With all my heart, I'll gossip at this feast.
[Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse, Antipholus]
of Ephesus, Dromio of Syracuse and Dromio of Ephesus]

Dromio of Syracuse. Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?



Antipholus of Ephesus. Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark'd?

Dromio of Syracuse. Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.



(stage directions). [Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Antipholus of Ephesus]

Dromio of Syracuse. There is a fat friend at your master's house,
That kitchen'd me for you to-day at dinner:
She now shall be my sister, not my wife.



Dromio of Ephesus. Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother:
I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.
Will you walk in to see their gossiping?

Dromio of Syracuse. Not I, sir; you are my elder.



Dromio of Ephesus. That's a question: how shall we try it?

Dromio of Syracuse. We'll draw cuts for the senior: till then lead thou first.

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