Speeches (Lines) for Costard
in "Love's Labour's Lost"
Total: 83

1

I,1,195

Dull. Signior Arme—Arme—commends you. There's villany
abroad: this letter will tell you more.

Costard. Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.

2

I,1,204

Biron. Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
climb in the merriness.

Costard. The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.

3

I,1,207

Biron. In what manner?

Costard. In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
her upon the form, and taken following her into the
park; which, put together, is in manner and form
following. Now, sir, for the manner,—it is the
manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,—
in some form.

4

I,1,215

Biron. For the following, sir?

Costard. As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
the right!

5

I,1,219

Biron. As we would hear an oracle.

Costard. Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.

6

I,1,223

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
and body's fostering patron.'

Costard. Not a word of Costard yet.

7

I,1,225

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'So it is,'—

Costard. It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
telling true, but so.

8

I,1,228

Ferdinand. Peace!

Costard. Be to me and every man that dares not fight!

9

I,1,230

Ferdinand. No words!

Costard. Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.

10

I,1,248

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'—

Costard. Me?

11

I,1,250

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'—

Costard. Me?

12

I,1,252

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'that shallow vassal,'—

Costard. Still me?

13

I,1,254

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'—

Costard. O, me!

14

I,1,259

Ferdinand. [Reads] 'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
which with,—O, with—but with this I passion to say
wherewith,—

Costard. With a wench.

15

I,1,279

Ferdinand. Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
you to this?

Costard. Sir, I confess the wench.

16

I,1,281

Ferdinand. Did you hear the proclamation?

Costard. I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
the marking of it.

17

I,1,285

Ferdinand. It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
with a wench.

Costard. I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.

18

I,1,287

Ferdinand. Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'

Costard. This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.

19

I,1,289

Ferdinand. It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'

Costard. If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.

20

I,1,291

Ferdinand. This maid will not serve your turn, sir.

Costard. This maid will serve my turn, sir.

21

I,1,294

Ferdinand. Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
a week with bran and water.

Costard. I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

22

I,1,303

Biron. I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
Sirrah, come on.

Costard. I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
till then, sit thee down, sorrow!

23

I,2,445

Don Adriano de Armado. Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou
be pardoned.

Costard. Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a
full stomach.

24

I,2,448

Don Adriano de Armado. Thou shalt be heavily punished.

Costard. I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they
are but lightly rewarded.

25

I,2,452

Moth. Come, you transgressing slave; away!

Costard. Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.

26

I,2,454

Moth. No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.

Costard. Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation
that I have seen, some shall see.

27

I,2,457

Moth. What shall some see?

Costard. Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon.
It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their
words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank
God I have as little patience as another man; and
therefore I can be quiet.

28

III,1,835

Don Adriano de Armado. Some enigma, some riddle: come, thy l'envoy; begin.

Costard. No enigma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the
mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain! no
l'envoy, no l'envoy; no salve, sir, but a plantain!

29

III,1,863

Moth. A good l'envoy, ending in the goose: would you
desire more?

Costard. The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.
Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.
To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose:
Let me see; a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.

30

III,1,870

Moth. By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.
Then call'd you for the l'envoy.

Costard. True, and I for a plantain: thus came your
argument in;
Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;
And he ended the market.

31

III,1,876

Moth. I will tell you sensibly.

Costard. Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth: I will speak that l'envoy:
I Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.

32

III,1,880

Don Adriano de Armado. We will talk no more of this matter.

Costard. Till there be more matter in the shin.

33

III,1,882

Don Adriano de Armado. Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.

Costard. O, marry me to one Frances: I smell some l'envoy,
some goose, in this.

34

III,1,887

Don Adriano de Armado. By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured,
restrained, captivated, bound.

Costard. True, true; and now you will be my purgation and let me loose.

35

III,1,897

Moth. Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.

Costard. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!
[Exit MOTH]
Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration!
O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three
farthings—remuneration.—'What's the price of this
inkle?'—'One penny.'—'No, I'll give you a
remuneration:' why, it carries it. Remuneration!
why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will
never buy and sell out of this word.

36

III,1,908

Biron. O, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met.

Costard. Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man
buy for a remuneration?

37

III,1,911

Biron. What is a remuneration?

Costard. Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.

38

III,1,913

Biron. Why, then, three-farthing worth of silk.

Costard. I thank your worship: God be wi' you!

39

III,1,917

Biron. Stay, slave; I must employ thee:
As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.

Costard. When would you have it done, sir?

40

III,1,919

Biron. This afternoon.

Costard. Well, I will do it, sir: fare you well.

41

III,1,921

Biron. Thou knowest not what it is.

Costard. I shall know, sir, when I have done it.

42

III,1,923

Biron. Why, villain, thou must know first.

Costard. I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.

43

III,1,933

(stage directions). [Giving him a shilling]

Costard. Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration,
a'leven-pence farthing better: most sweet gardon! I
will do it sir, in print. Gardon! Remuneration!

44

IV,1,1015

(stage directions). [Enter COSTARD]

Costard. God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?

45

IV,1,1017

Princess of France. Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.

Costard. Which is the greatest lady, the highest?

46

IV,1,1019

Princess of France. The thickest and the tallest.

Costard. The thickest and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,
One o' these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit.
Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here.

47

IV,1,1024

Princess of France. What's your will, sir? what's your will?

Costard. I have a letter from Monsieur Biron to one Lady Rosaline.

48

IV,1,1078

Princess of France. Thou fellow, a word:
Who gave thee this letter?

Costard. I told you; my lord.

49

IV,1,1080

Princess of France. To whom shouldst thou give it?

Costard. From my lord to my lady.

50

IV,1,1082

Princess of France. From which lord to which lady?

Costard. From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
To a lady of France that he call'd Rosaline.

51

IV,1,1114

(stage directions). [Exeunt ROSALINE and KATHARINE]

Costard. By my troth, most pleasant: how both did fit it!

52

IV,1,1119

Maria. Wide o' the bow hand! i' faith, your hand is out.

Costard. Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout.

53

IV,1,1121

Boyet. An if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.

Costard. Then will she get the upshoot by cleaving the pin.

54

IV,1,1123

Maria. Come, come, you talk greasily; your lips grow foul.

Costard. She's too hard for you at pricks, sir: challenge her to bowl.

55

IV,1,1126

(stage directions). [Exeunt BOYET and MARIA]

Costard. By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown!
Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!
O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony
vulgar wit!
When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it
were, so fit.
Armado o' th' one side,—O, a most dainty man!
To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!
To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a'
will swear!
And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit!
Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit!
Sola, sola!

56

IV,2,1233

Holofernes. Master Parson, quasi pers-on. An if one should be
pierced, which is the one?

Costard. Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.

57

IV,2,1294

Jaquenetta. Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!

Costard. Have with thee, my girl.

58

IV,3,1525

Ferdinand. What present hast thou there?

Costard. Some certain treason.

59

IV,3,1527

Ferdinand. What makes treason here?

Costard. Nay, it makes nothing, sir.

60

IV,3,1537

Ferdinand. Where hadst thou it?

Costard. Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.

61

IV,3,1556

Ferdinand. Hence, sirs; away!

Costard. Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.

62

V,1,1774

Moth. [Aside to COSTARD] They have been at a great feast
of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Costard. O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
for thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
swallowed than a flap-dragon.

63

V,1,1799

Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about
your infamy circum circa,—a gig of a cuckold's horn.

Costard. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst
have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very
remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny
purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an
the heavens were so pleased that thou wert but my
bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou make me!
Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers'
ends, as they say.

64

V,2,2415

Biron. Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.
[Enter COSTARD]
Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray.

Costard. O Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.

65

V,2,2418

Biron. What, are there but three?

Costard. No, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.

66

V,2,2421

Biron. And three times thrice is nine.

Costard. Not so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope it is not so.
You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir we know
what we know:
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir,—

67

V,2,2426

Biron. Is not nine.

Costard. Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.

68

V,2,2428

Biron. By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.

Costard. O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living
by reckoning, sir.

69

V,2,2431

Biron. How much is it?

Costard. O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for mine
own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man
in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir.

70

V,2,2436

Biron. Art thou one of the Worthies?

Costard. It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the
Great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of
the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.

71

V,2,2440

Biron. Go, bid them prepare.

Costard. We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take
some care.

72

V,2,2481

(stage directions). [Enter COSTARD, for Pompey]

Costard. I Pompey am,—

73

V,2,2483

Boyet. You lie, you are not he.

Costard. I Pompey am,—

74

V,2,2487

Biron. Well said, old mocker: I must needs be friends
with thee.

Costard. I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big—

75

V,2,2489

Dumain. The Great.

Costard. It is, 'Great,' sir:—
Pompey surnamed the Great;
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make
my foe to sweat:
And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France,
If your ladyship would say, 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done.

76

V,2,2497

Princess of France. Great thanks, great Pompey.

Costard. 'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect: I
made a little fault in 'Great.'

77

V,2,2513

Biron. Pompey the Great,—

Costard. Your servant, and Costard.

78

V,2,2515

Biron. Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.

Costard. [To SIR NATHANIEL] O, sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds
his poll-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given
to Ajax: he will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror,
and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander.
[SIR NATHANIEL retires]
There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good
bowler: but, for Alisander,—alas, you see how
'tis,—a little o'erparted. But there are Worthies
a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort.

79

V,2,2612

Don Adriano de Armado. This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,—

Costard. The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she
is two months on her way.

80

V,2,2615

Don Adriano de Armado. What meanest thou?

Costard. Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the poor
wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in
her belly already: tis yours.

81

V,2,2620

Don Adriano de Armado. Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt
die.

Costard. Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is
quick by him and hanged for Pompey that is dead by
him.

82

V,2,2634

Don Adriano de Armado. By the north pole, I do challenge thee.

Costard. I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man:
I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword. I bepray you,
let me borrow my arms again.

83

V,2,2638

Dumain. Room for the incensed Worthies!

Costard. I'll do it in my shirt.