Act III, Scene 2

The street before the prison.

[Enter, on one side, DUKE VINCENTIO disguised as] [p]before; on the other, ELBOW, and Officers with POMPEY]

• Elbow. Nay, if there be no remedy for it, but that you will
  needs buy and sell men and women like beasts, we 1515
  shall have all the world drink brown and white bastard.

• Vincentio. O heavens! what stuff is here

• Pompey. 'Twas never merry world since, of two usuries, the
  merriest was put down, and the worser allowed by
  order of law a furred gown to keep him warm; and 1520
  furred with fox and lamb-skins too, to signify, that
  craft, being richer than innocency, stands for the facing.

• Elbow. Come your way, sir. 'Bless you, good father friar.

• Vincentio. And you, good brother father. What offence hath
  this man made you, sir? 1525

• Elbow. Marry, sir, he hath offended the law: and, sir, we
  take him to be a thief too, sir; for we have found
  upon him, sir, a strange picklock, which we have
  sent to the deputy.

• Vincentio. Fie, sirrah! a bawd, a wicked bawd! 1530
  The evil that thou causest to be done,
  That is thy means to live. Do thou but think
  What 'tis to cram a maw or clothe a back
  From such a filthy vice: say to thyself,
  From their abominable and beastly touches 1535
  I drink, I eat, array myself, and live.
  Canst thou believe thy living is a life,
  So stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.

• Pompey. Indeed, it does stink in some sort, sir; but yet,
  sir, I would prove— 1540

• Vincentio. Nay, if the devil have given thee proofs for sin,
  Thou wilt prove his. Take him to prison, officer:
  Correction and instruction must both work
  Ere this rude beast will profit.

• Elbow. He must before the deputy, sir; he has given him 1545
  warning: the deputy cannot abide a whoremaster: if
  he be a whoremonger, and comes before him, he were
  as good go a mile on his errand.

• Vincentio. That we were all, as some would seem to be,
  From our faults, as faults from seeming, free! 1550

• Elbow. His neck will come to your waist,—a cord, sir.

• Pompey. I spy comfort; I cry bail. Here's a gentleman and a
  friend of mine.

[Enter LUCIO]

• Lucio. How now, noble Pompey! What, at the wheels of 1555
  Caesar? art thou led in triumph? What, is there
  none of Pygmalion's images, newly made woman, to be
  had now, for putting the hand in the pocket and
  extracting it clutch'd? What reply, ha? What
  sayest thou to this tune, matter and method? Is't 1560
  not drowned i' the last rain, ha? What sayest
  thou, Trot? Is the world as it was, man? Which is
  the way? Is it sad, and few words? or how? The
  trick of it?

• Vincentio. Still thus, and thus; still worse! 1565

• Lucio. How doth my dear morsel, thy mistress? Procures she
  still, ha?

• Pompey. Troth, sir, she hath eaten up all her beef, and she
  is herself in the tub.

• Lucio. Why, 'tis good; it is the right of it; it must be 1570
  so: ever your fresh whore and your powdered bawd:
  an unshunned consequence; it must be so. Art going
  to prison, Pompey?

• Pompey. Yes, faith, sir.

• Lucio. Why, 'tis not amiss, Pompey. Farewell: go, say I 1575
  sent thee thither. For debt, Pompey? or how?

• Elbow. For being a bawd, for being a bawd.

• Lucio. Well, then, imprison him: if imprisonment be the
  due of a bawd, why, 'tis his right: bawd is he
  doubtless, and of antiquity too; bawd-born. 1580
  Farewell, good Pompey. Commend me to the prison,
  Pompey: you will turn good husband now, Pompey; you
  will keep the house.

• Pompey. I hope, sir, your good worship will be my bail.

• Lucio. No, indeed, will I not, Pompey; it is not the wear. 1585
  I will pray, Pompey, to increase your bondage: If
  you take it not patiently, why, your mettle is the
  more. Adieu, trusty Pompey. 'Bless you, friar.

• Vincentio. And you.

• Lucio. Does Bridget paint still, Pompey, ha? 1590

• Elbow. Come your ways, sir; come.

• Pompey. You will not bail me, then, sir?

• Lucio. Then, Pompey, nor now. What news abroad, friar?
  what news?

• Elbow. Come your ways, sir; come. 1595

• Lucio. Go to kennel, Pompey; go.
  [Exeunt ELBOW, POMPEY and Officers]
  What news, friar, of the duke?

• Vincentio. I know none. Can you tell me of any?

• Lucio. Some say he is with the Emperor of Russia; other 1600
  some, he is in Rome: but where is he, think you?

• Vincentio. I know not where; but wheresoever, I wish him well.

• Lucio. It was a mad fantastical trick of him to steal from
  the state, and usurp the beggary he was never born
  to. Lord Angelo dukes it well in his absence; he 1605
  puts transgression to 't.

• Vincentio. He does well in 't.

• Lucio. A little more lenity to lechery would do no harm in
  him: something too crabbed that way, friar.

• Vincentio. It is too general a vice, and severity must cure it. 1610

• Lucio. Yes, in good sooth, the vice is of a great kindred;
  it is well allied: but it is impossible to extirp
  it quite, friar, till eating and drinking be put
  down. They say this Angelo was not made by man and
  woman after this downright way of creation: is it 1615
  true, think you?

• Vincentio. How should he be made, then?

• Lucio. Some report a sea-maid spawned him; some, that he
  was begot between two stock-fishes. But it is
  certain that when he makes water his urine is 1620
  congealed ice; that I know to be true: and he is a
  motion generative; that's infallible.

• Vincentio. You are pleasant, sir, and speak apace.

• Lucio. Why, what a ruthless thing is this in him, for the
  rebellion of a codpiece to take away the life of a 1625
  man! Would the duke that is absent have done this?
  Ere he would have hanged a man for the getting a
  hundred bastards, he would have paid for the nursing
  a thousand: he had some feeling of the sport: he
  knew the service, and that instructed him to mercy. 1630

• Vincentio. I never heard the absent duke much detected for
  women; he was not inclined that way.

• Lucio. O, sir, you are deceived.

• Vincentio. 'Tis not possible.

• Lucio. Who, not the duke? yes, your beggar of fifty; and 1635
  his use was to put a ducat in her clack-dish: the
  duke had crotchets in him. He would be drunk too;
  that let me inform you.

• Vincentio. You do him wrong, surely.

• Lucio. Sir, I was an inward of his. A shy fellow was the 1640
  duke: and I believe I know the cause of his
  withdrawing.

• Vincentio. What, I prithee, might be the cause?

• Lucio. No, pardon; 'tis a secret must be locked within the
  teeth and the lips: but this I can let you 1645
  understand, the greater file of the subject held the
  duke to be wise.

• Vincentio. Wise! why, no question but he was.

• Lucio. A very superficial, ignorant, unweighing fellow.

• Vincentio. Either this is the envy in you, folly, or mistaking: 1650
  the very stream of his life and the business he hath
  helmed must upon a warranted need give him a better
  proclamation. Let him be but testimonied in his own
  bringings-forth, and he shall appear to the
  envious a scholar, a statesman and a soldier. 1655
  Therefore you speak unskilfully: or if your
  knowledge be more it is much darkened in your malice.

• Lucio. Sir, I know him, and I love him.

• Vincentio. Love talks with better knowledge, and knowledge with
  dearer love. 1660

• Lucio. Come, sir, I know what I know.

• Vincentio. I can hardly believe that, since you know not what
  you speak. But, if ever the duke return, as our
  prayers are he may, let me desire you to make your
  answer before him. If it be honest you have spoke, 1665
  you have courage to maintain it: I am bound to call
  upon you; and, I pray you, your name?

• Lucio. Sir, my name is Lucio; well known to the duke.

• Vincentio. He shall know you better, sir, if I may live to
  report you. 1670

• Lucio. I fear you not.

• Vincentio. O, you hope the duke will return no more; or you
  imagine me too unhurtful an opposite. But indeed I
  can do you little harm; you'll forswear this again.

• Lucio. I'll be hanged first: thou art deceived in me, 1675
  friar. But no more of this. Canst thou tell if
  Claudio die to-morrow or no?

• Vincentio. Why should he die, sir?

• Lucio. Why? For filling a bottle with a tundish. I would
  the duke we talk of were returned again: the 1680
  ungenitured agent will unpeople the province with
  continency; sparrows must not build in his
  house-eaves, because they are lecherous. The duke
  yet would have dark deeds darkly answered; he would
  never bring them to light: would he were returned! 1685
  Marry, this Claudio is condemned for untrussing.
  Farewell, good friar: I prithee, pray for me. The
  duke, I say to thee again, would eat mutton on
  Fridays. He's not past it yet, and I say to thee,
  he would mouth with a beggar, though she smelt brown 1690
  bread and garlic: say that I said so. Farewell.

[Exit]

• Vincentio. No might nor greatness in mortality
  Can censure 'scape; back-wounding calumny
  The whitest virtue strikes. What king so strong 1695
  Can tie the gall up in the slanderous tongue?
  But who comes here?

[Enter ESCALUS, Provost, and Officers with MISTRESS OVERDONE]

• Escalus. Go; away with her to prison!

• Mistress Overdone. Good my lord, be good to me; your honour is accounted 1700
  a merciful man; good my lord.

• Escalus. Double and treble admonition, and still forfeit in
  the same kind! This would make mercy swear and play
  the tyrant.

• Provost. A bawd of eleven years' continuance, may it please 1705
  your honour.

• Mistress Overdone. My lord, this is one Lucio's information against me.
  Mistress Kate Keepdown was with child by him in the
  duke's time; he promised her marriage: his child
  is a year and a quarter old, come Philip and Jacob: 1710
  I have kept it myself; and see how he goes about to abuse me!

• Escalus. That fellow is a fellow of much licence: let him be
  called before us. Away with her to prison! Go to;
  no more words.
  [Exeunt Officers with MISTRESS OVERDONE] 1715
  Provost, my brother Angelo will not be altered;
  Claudio must die to-morrow: let him be furnished
  with divines, and have all charitable preparation.
  if my brother wrought by my pity, it should not be
  so with him. 1720

• Provost. So please you, this friar hath been with him, and
  advised him for the entertainment of death.

• Escalus. Good even, good father.

• Vincentio. Bliss and goodness on you!

• Escalus. Of whence are you? 1725

• Vincentio. Not of this country, though my chance is now
  To use it for my time: I am a brother
  Of gracious order, late come from the See
  In special business from his holiness.

• Escalus. What news abroad i' the world? 1730

• Vincentio. None, but that there is so great a fever on
  goodness, that the dissolution of it must cure it:
  novelty is only in request; and it is as dangerous
  to be aged in any kind of course, as it is virtuous
  to be constant in any undertaking. There is scarce 1735
  truth enough alive to make societies secure; but
  security enough to make fellowships accurst: much
  upon this riddle runs the wisdom of the world. This
  news is old enough, yet it is every day's news. I
  pray you, sir, of what disposition was the duke? 1740

• Escalus. One that, above all other strifes, contended
  especially to know himself.

• Vincentio. What pleasure was he given to?

• Escalus. Rather rejoicing to see another merry, than merry at
  any thing which professed to make him rejoice: a 1745
  gentleman of all temperance. But leave we him to
  his events, with a prayer they may prove prosperous;
  and let me desire to know how you find Claudio
  prepared. I am made to understand that you have
  lent him visitation. 1750

• Vincentio. He professes to have received no sinister measure
  from his judge, but most willingly humbles himself
  to the determination of justice: yet had he framed
  to himself, by the instruction of his frailty, many
  deceiving promises of life; which I by my good 1755
  leisure have discredited to him, and now is he
  resolved to die.

• Escalus. You have paid the heavens your function, and the
  prisoner the very debt of your calling. I have
  laboured for the poor gentleman to the extremest 1760
  shore of my modesty: but my brother justice have I
  found so severe, that he hath forced me to tell him
  he is indeed Justice.

• Vincentio. If his own life answer the straitness of his
  proceeding, it shall become him well; wherein if he 1765
  chance to fail, he hath sentenced himself.

• Escalus. I am going to visit the prisoner. Fare you well.

• Vincentio. Peace be with you!
  [Exeunt ESCALUS and Provost]
  He who the sword of heaven will bear 1770
  Should be as holy as severe;
  Pattern in himself to know,
  Grace to stand, and virtue go;
  More nor less to others paying
  Than by self-offences weighing. 1775
  Shame to him whose cruel striking
  Kills for faults of his own liking!
  Twice treble shame on Angelo,
  To weed my vice and let his grow!
  O, what may man within him hide, 1780
  Though angel on the outward side!
  How may likeness made in crimes,
  Making practise on the times,
  To draw with idle spiders' strings
  Most ponderous and substantial things! 1785
  Craft against vice I must apply:
  With Angelo to-night shall lie
  His old betrothed but despised;
  So disguise shall, by the disguised,
  Pay with falsehood false exacting, 1790
  And perform an old contracting.

[Exit]