Speeches (Lines) for Malvolio
in "Twelfth Night"
Total: 87

1

I,5,364

Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him:
infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the
better fool.

2

I,5,372

I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a
barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day
with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard
already; unless you laugh and minister occasion to
him, he is gagged. I protest, I take these wise men,
that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better
than the fools' zanies.

3

I,5,432

Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with
you. I told him you were sick; he takes on him to
understand so much, and therefore comes to speak
with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to
have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore
comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him,
lady? he's fortified against any denial.

4

I,5,440

Has been told so; and he says, he'll stand at your
door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter to
a bench, but he'll speak with you.

5

I,5,444

Why, of mankind.

6

I,5,446

Of very ill manner; he'll speak with you, will you or no.

7

I,5,448

Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for
a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a
cooling when 'tis almost an apple: 'tis with him
in standing water, between boy and man. He is very
well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly; one
would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him.

8

I,5,455

Gentlewoman, my lady calls.

9

I,5,596

Here, madam, at your service.

10

I,5,604

Madam, I will.

11

II,2,658

Were not you even now with the Countess Olivia?

12

II,2,661

She returns this ring to you, sir: you might have
saved me my pains, to have taken it away yourself.
She adds, moreover, that you should put your lord
into a desperate assurance she will none of him:
and one thing more, that you be never so hardy to
come again in his affairs, unless it be to report
your lord's taking of this. Receive it so.

13

II,2,669

Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her
will is, it should be so returned: if it be worth
stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be
it his that finds it.

14

II,3,788

My masters, are you mad? or what are you? Have ye
no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like
tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an
alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your
coziers' catches without any mitigation or remorse
of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor
time in you?

15

II,3,796

Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me
tell you, that, though she harbours you as her
kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If
you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you
are welcome to the house; if not, an it would please
you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid
you farewell.

16

II,3,806

Is't even so?

17

II,3,809

This is much credit to you.

18

II,3,821

Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour at any
thing more than contempt, you would not give means
for this uncivil rule: she shall know of it, by this hand.

19

II,5,1052

'Tis but fortune; all is fortune. Maria once told
me she did affect me: and I have heard herself come
thus near, that, should she fancy, it should be one
of my complexion. Besides, she uses me with a more
exalted respect than any one else that follows her.
What should I think on't?

20

II,5,1063

To be Count Malvolio!

21

II,5,1067

There is example for't; the lady of the Strachy
married the yeoman of the wardrobe.

22

II,5,1072

Having been three months married to her, sitting in
my state,—

23

II,5,1075

Calling my officers about me, in my branched velvet
gown; having come from a day-bed, where I have left
Olivia sleeping,—

24

II,5,1080

And then to have the humour of state; and after a
demure travel of regard, telling them I know my
place as I would they should do theirs, to for my
kinsman Toby,—

25

II,5,1086

Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make
out for him: I frown the while; and perchance wind
up watch, or play with my—some rich jewel. Toby
approaches; courtesies there to me,—

26

II,5,1092

I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar
smile with an austere regard of control,—

27

II,5,1095

Saying, 'Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on
your niece give me this prerogative of speech,'—

28

II,5,1098

'You must amend your drunkenness.'

29

II,5,1101

'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with
a foolish knight,'—

30

II,5,1104

'One Sir Andrew,'—

31

II,5,1106

What employment have we here?

32

II,5,1111

By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her
very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her
great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.

33

II,5,1115

[Reads] 'To the unknown beloved, this, and my good
wishes:'—her very phrases! By your leave, wax.
Soft! and the impressure her Lucrece, with which she
uses to seal: 'tis my lady. To whom should this be?

34

II,5,1120

[Reads]
Jove knows I love: But who?
Lips, do not move;
No man must know.
'No man must know.' What follows? the numbers
altered! 'No man must know:' if this should be
thee, Malvolio?

35

II,5,1128

[Reads]
I may command where I adore;
But silence, like a Lucrece knife,
With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore:
M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.

36

II,5,1135

'M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.' Nay, but first, let
me see, let me see, let me see.

37

II,5,1139

'I may command where I adore.' Why, she may command
me: I serve her; she is my lady. Why, this is
evident to any formal capacity; there is no
obstruction in this: and the end,—what should
that alphabetical position portend? If I could make
that resemble something in me,—Softly! M, O, A,
I,—

38

II,5,1149

M,—Malvolio; M,—why, that begins my name.

39

II,5,1152

M,—but then there is no consonancy in the sequel;
that suffers under probation A should follow but O does.

40

II,5,1156

And then I comes behind.

41

II,5,1160

M, O, A, I; this simulation is not as the former: and
yet, to crush this a little, it would bow to me, for
every one of these letters are in my name. Soft!
here follows prose.
[Reads]
'If this fall into thy hand, revolve. In my stars I
am above thee; but be not afraid of greatness: some
are born great, some achieve greatness, and some
have greatness thrust upon 'em. Thy Fates open
their hands; let thy blood and spirit embrace them;
and, to inure thyself to what thou art like to be,
cast thy humble slough and appear fresh. Be
opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants; let
thy tongue tang arguments of state; put thyself into
the trick of singularity: she thus advises thee
that sighs for thee. Remember who commended thy
yellow stockings, and wished to see thee ever
cross-gartered: I say, remember. Go to, thou art
made, if thou desirest to be so; if not, let me see
thee a steward still, the fellow of servants, and
not worthy to touch Fortune's fingers. Farewell.
She that would alter services with thee,
THE FORTUNATE-UNHAPPY.'
Daylight and champaign discovers not more: this is
open. I will be proud, I will read politic authors,
I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross
acquaintance, I will be point-devise the very man.
I do not now fool myself, to let imagination jade
me; for every reason excites to this, that my lady
loves me. She did commend my yellow stockings of
late, she did praise my leg being cross-gartered;
and in this she manifests herself to my love, and
with a kind of injunction drives me to these habits
of her liking. I thank my stars I am happy. I will
be strange, stout, in yellow stockings, and
cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of putting
on. Jove and my stars be praised! Here is yet a
postscript.
[Reads]
'Thou canst not choose but know who I am. If thou
entertainest my love, let it appear in thy smiling;
thy smiles become thee well; therefore in my
presence still smile, dear my sweet, I prithee.'
Jove, I thank thee: I will smile; I will do
everything that thou wilt have me.

42

III,4,1563

Sweet lady, ho, ho.

43

III,4,1566

Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some
obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but
what of that? if it please the eye of one, it is
with me as the very true sonnet is, 'Please one, and
please all.'

44

III,4,1572

Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It
did come to his hands, and commands shall be
executed: I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.

45

III,4,1576

To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.

46

III,4,1580

At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.

47

III,4,1582

'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.

48

III,4,1584

'Some are born great,'—

49

III,4,1586

'Some achieve greatness,'—

50

III,4,1588

'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'

51

III,4,1590

'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—

52

III,4,1592

'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'

53

III,4,1594

'Go to thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'—

54

III,4,1596

'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'

55

III,4,1609

O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than
Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with
the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may
appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that
in the letter. 'Cast thy humble slough,' says she;
'be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants;
let thy tongue tang with arguments of state; put
thyself into the trick of singularity;' and
consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad
face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the
habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have
limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me
thankful! And when she went away now, 'Let this
fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio, nor
after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing
adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no
scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous
or unsafe circumstance—What can be said? Nothing
that can be can come between me and the full
prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the
doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

56

III,4,1636

Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private: go
off.

57

III,4,1641

Ah, ha! does she so?

58

III,4,1646

Do you know what you say?

59

III,4,1652

How now, mistress!

60

III,4,1659

Sir!

61

III,4,1664

My prayers, minx!

62

III,4,1666

Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow
things: I am not of your element: you shall know
more hereafter.

63

IV,2,2042

[Within] Who calls there?

64

IV,2,2045

Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.

65

IV,2,2049

Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir
Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me
here in hideous darkness.

66

IV,2,2056

As hell, Sir Topas.

67

IV,2,2061

I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark.

68

IV,2,2065

I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though
ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there
was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you
are: make the trial of it in any constant question.

69

IV,2,2070

That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

70

IV,2,2072

I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

71

IV,2,2077

Sir Topas, Sir Topas!

72

IV,2,2092

Fool!

73

IV,2,2094

Fool!

74

IV,2,2096

Fool, I say!

75

IV,2,2098

Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my
hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper:
as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to
thee for't.

76

IV,2,2103

Ay, good fool.

77

IV,2,2105

Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I
am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

78

IV,2,2109

They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness,
send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to
face me out of my wits.

79

IV,2,2116

Sir Topas!

80

IV,2,2120

Fool, fool, fool, I say!

81

IV,2,2123

Good fool, help me to some light and some paper: I
tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.

82

IV,2,2126

By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper and
light; and convey what I will set down to my lady:
it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing
of letter did.

83

IV,2,2132

Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true.

84

IV,2,2135

Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I
prithee, be gone.

85

V,1,2539

Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.

86

V,1,2542

Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that letter.
You must not now deny it is your hand:
Write from it, if you can, in hand or phrase;
Or say 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: well, grant it then
And tell me, in the modesty of honour,
Why you have given me such clear lights of favour,
Bade me come smiling and cross-garter'd to you,
To put on yellow stockings and to frown
Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people;
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck and gull
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.

87

V,1,2590

I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you.