Open Source Shakespeare

The Tempest

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Act II, Scene 2

Another part of the island.

       

[Enter CALIBAN with a burden of wood. A noise of] [p]thunder heard]

  • Caliban. All the infections that the sun sucks up
    From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make him
    By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me
    And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch, 1085
    Fright me with urchin—shows, pitch me i' the mire,
    Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark
    Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but
    For every trifle are they set upon me;
    Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me 1090
    And after bite me, then like hedgehogs which
    Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount
    Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I
    All wound with adders who with cloven tongues
    Do hiss me into madness. 1095
    [Enter TRINCULO]
    Lo, now, lo!
    Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
    For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;
    Perchance he will not mind me. 1100
  • Trinculo. Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off
    any weather at all, and another storm brewing;
    I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black
    cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul
    bombard that would shed his liquor. If it 1105
    should thunder as it did before, I know not
    where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot
    choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we
    here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish:
    he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish- 1110
    like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-
    John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,
    as once I was, and had but this fish painted,
    not a holiday fool there but would give a piece
    of silver: there would this monster make a 1115
    man; any strange beast there makes a man:
    when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame
    beggar, they will lazy out ten to see a dead
    Indian. Legged like a man and his fins like
    arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose 1120
    my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish,
    but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a
    thunderbolt.
    [Thunder]
    Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to 1125
    creep under his gaberdine; there is no other
    shelter hereabouts: misery acquaints a man with
    strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the
    dregs of the storm be past.

[Enter STEPHANO, singing: a bottle in his hand]

  • Stephano. I shall no more to sea, to sea,
    Here shall I die ashore—
    This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's
    funeral: well, here's my comfort. [Drinks]
    [Sings] 1135
    The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,
    The gunner and his mate
    Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,
    But none of us cared for Kate;
    For she had a tongue with a tang, 1140
    Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!
    She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,
    Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch:
    Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!
    This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort. 1145

[Drinks]

  • Caliban. Do not torment me: Oh!
  • Stephano. What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put
    tricks upon's with savages and men of Ind, ha? I
    have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your 1150
    four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as
    ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground;
    and it shall be said so again while Stephano
    breathes at's nostrils.
  • Caliban. The spirit torments me; Oh! 1155
  • Stephano. This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who
    hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil
    should he learn our language? I will give him some
    relief, if it be but for that. if I can recover him
    and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he's a 1160
    present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's leather.
  • Caliban. Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.
  • Stephano. He's in his fit now and does not talk after the
    wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have
    never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his 1165
    fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will
    not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that
    hath him, and that soundly.
  • Caliban. Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I
    know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee. 1170
  • Stephano. Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that
    which will give language to you, cat: open your
    mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you,
    and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend:
    open your chaps again. 1175
  • Trinculo. I should know that voice: it should be—but he is
    drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!
  • Stephano. Four legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!
    His forward voice now is to speak well of his
    friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches 1180
    and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will
    recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I
    will pour some in thy other mouth.
  • Trinculo. Stephano!
  • Stephano. Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is 1185
    a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no
    long spoon.
  • Trinculo. Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and
    speak to me: for I am Trinculo—be not afeard—thy
    good friend Trinculo. 1190
  • Stephano. If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee
    by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs,
    these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How
    camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can
    he vent Trinculos? 1195
  • Trinculo. I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But
    art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art
    not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me
    under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of
    the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O 1200
    Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scaped!
  • Stephano. Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.
  • Caliban. [Aside] These be fine things, an if they be
    not sprites.
    That's a brave god and bears celestial liquor. 1205
    I will kneel to him.
  • Stephano. How didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither?
    swear by this bottle how thou camest hither. I
    escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors
    heaved o'erboard, by this bottle; which I made of 1210
    the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was
    cast ashore.
  • Caliban. I'll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject;
    for the liquor is not earthly.
  • Stephano. Here; swear then how thou escapedst. 1215
  • Trinculo. Swum ashore. man, like a duck: I can swim like a
    duck, I'll be sworn.
  • Stephano. Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a
    duck, thou art made like a goose.
  • Trinculo. O Stephano. hast any more of this? 1220
  • Stephano. The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the
    sea-side where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf!
    how does thine ague?
  • Caliban. Hast thou not dropp'd from heaven?
  • Stephano. Out o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i' 1225
    the moon when time was.
  • Caliban. I have seen thee in her and I do adore thee:
    My mistress show'd me thee and thy dog and thy bush.
  • Stephano. Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish
    it anon with new contents swear. 1230
  • Trinculo. By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!
    I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The man i'
    the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well
    drawn, monster, in good sooth!
  • Caliban. I'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island; 1235
    And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.
  • Trinculo. By this light, a most perfidious and drunken
    monster! when 's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.
  • Caliban. I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.
  • Stephano. Come on then; down, and swear. 1240
  • Trinculo. I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed
    monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my
    heart to beat him,—
  • Stephano. Come, kiss.
  • Trinculo. But that the poor monster's in drink: an abominable monster! 1245
  • Caliban. I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;
    I'll fish for thee and get thee wood enough.
    A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
    I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
    Thou wondrous man. 1250
  • Trinculo. A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a
    Poor drunkard!
  • Caliban. I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;
    And I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts;
    Show thee a jay's nest and instruct thee how 1255
    To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee
    To clustering filberts and sometimes I'll get thee
    Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?
  • Stephano. I prithee now, lead the way without any more
    talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company 1260
    else being drowned, we will inherit here: here;
    bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by
    and by again.
  • Caliban. [Sings drunkenly]
    Farewell master; farewell, farewell! 1265
  • Trinculo. A howling monster: a drunken monster!
  • Caliban. No more dams I'll make for fish
    Nor fetch in firing
    At requiring;
    Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish 1270
    'Ban, 'Ban, Cacaliban
    Has a new master: get a new man.
    Freedom, hey-day! hey-day, freedom! freedom,
    hey-day, freedom!
  • Stephano. O brave monster! Lead the way. 1275

[Exeunt]