Speeches (Lines) for Feste
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# | Act, Scene, Line (Click to see in context) |
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Maria. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will
Feste. Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this
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Maria. Make that good. Feste. He shall see none to fear. |
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Maria. A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where that
Feste. Where, good Mistress Mary? |
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Maria. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery. Feste. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those
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Maria. Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent; or,
Feste. Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and,
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Maria. You are resolute, then? Feste. Not so, neither; but I am resolved on two points. |
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Maria. That if one break, the other will hold; or, if both
Feste. Apt, in good faith; very apt. Well, go thy way; if
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(stage directions). [Exit] Feste. Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling!
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9 |
Olivia. Take the fool away. Feste. Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the lady. |
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10 |
Olivia. Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you:
Feste. Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel
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11 |
Olivia. Sir, I bade them take away you. Feste. Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus non
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12 |
Olivia. Can you do it? Feste. Dexterously, good madonna. |
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Olivia. Make your proof. Feste. I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse
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Olivia. Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof. Feste. Good madonna, why mournest thou? |
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Olivia. Good fool, for my brother's death. Feste. I think his soul is in hell, madonna. |
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Olivia. I know his soul is in heaven, fool. Feste. The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother's
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Malvolio. Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him:
Feste. God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the
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Olivia. Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste
Feste. Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
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Olivia. Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks nothing but
Feste. Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest
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Sir Toby Belch. 'Tis a gentle man here—a plague o' these
Feste. Good Sir Toby! |
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21 |
Olivia. What's a drunken man like, fool? Feste. Like a drowned man, a fool and a mad man: one
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22 |
Olivia. Go thou and seek the crowner, and let him sit o' my
Feste. He is but mad yet, madonna; and the fool shall look
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Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Here comes the fool, i' faith. Feste. How now, my hearts! did you never see the picture
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Sir Andrew Aguecheek. By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I
Feste. I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose
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Sir Andrew Aguecheek. There's a testril of me too: if one knight give a— Feste. Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life? |
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Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Ay, ay: I care not for good life. Feste. [Sings]
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Sir Toby Belch. Good, good. Feste. [Sings]
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Sir Andrew Aguecheek. An you love me, let's do't: I am dog at a catch. Feste. By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well. |
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29 |
Sir Andrew Aguecheek. Most certain. Let our catch be, 'Thou knave.' Feste. 'Hold thy peace, thou knave,' knight? I shall be
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Sir Andrew Aguecheek. 'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to
Feste. I shall never begin if I hold my peace. |
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31 |
Sir Toby Belch. My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians, Malvolio's
Feste. Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling. |
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32 |
Maria. Nay, good Sir Toby. Feste. 'His eyes do show his days are almost done.' |
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Sir Toby Belch. 'But I will never die.' Feste. Sir Toby, there you lie. |
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Sir Toby Belch. 'Shall I bid him go?' Feste. 'What an if you do?' |
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Sir Toby Belch. 'Shall I bid him go, and spare not?' Feste. 'O no, no, no, no, you dare not.' |
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Sir Toby Belch. Out o' tune, sir: ye lie. Art any more than a
Feste. Yes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be hot i' the
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Orsino. O, fellow, come, the song we had last night.
Feste. Are you ready, sir? |
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Orsino. Ay; prithee, sing.
Feste. Come away, come away, death,
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Orsino. There's for thy pains. Feste. No pains, sir: I take pleasure in singing, sir. |
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Orsino. I'll pay thy pleasure then. Feste. Truly, sir, and pleasure will be paid, one time or another. |
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Orsino. Give me now leave to leave thee. Feste. Now, the melancholy god protect thee; and the
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Viola. Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live by
Feste. No, sir, I live by the church. |
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Viola. Art thou a churchman? Feste. No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for
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Viola. So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a
Feste. You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is
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Viola. Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with
Feste. I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir. |
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Viola. Why, man? Feste. Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with that
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Viola. Thy reason, man? Feste. Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words; and
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Viola. I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for nothing. Feste. Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my
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Viola. Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool? Feste. No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she
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Viola. I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's. Feste. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,
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51 |
Viola. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee.
Feste. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard! |
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52 |
Viola. By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for
Feste. Would not a pair of these have bred, sir? |
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Viola. Yes, being kept together and put to use. Feste. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring
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Viola. I understand you, sir; 'tis well begged. Feste. The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but
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(stage directions). [Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown] Feste. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? |
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Sebastian. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow:
Feste. Well held out, i' faith! No, I do not know you; nor
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Sebastian. I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else: Thou
Feste. Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some
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Sebastian. I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me: There's
Feste. By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men
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Sir Toby Belch. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Feste. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be
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(stage directions). [Exit] Feste. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself
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Sir Toby Belch. Jove bless thee, master Parson. Feste. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of
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Sir Toby Belch. To him, Sir Topas. Feste. What, ho, I say! peace in this prison! |
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Malvolio. [Within] Who calls there? Feste. Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio
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Malvolio. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. Feste. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man!
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Malvolio. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir
Feste. Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most
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Malvolio. As hell, Sir Topas. Feste. Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes,
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Malvolio. I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark. Feste. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness
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Malvolio. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though
Feste. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl? |
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Malvolio. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Feste. What thinkest thou of his opinion? |
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Malvolio. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Feste. Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness:
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Sir Toby Belch. My most exquisite Sir Topas! Feste. Nay, I am for all waters. |
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(stage directions). [Exeunt SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA] Feste. [Singing]
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Malvolio. Fool! Feste. 'My lady is unkind, perdy.' |
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Malvolio. Fool! Feste. 'Alas, why is she so?' |
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Malvolio. Fool, I say! Feste. 'She loves another'—Who calls, ha? |
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Malvolio. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my
Feste. Master Malvolio? |
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Malvolio. Ay, good fool. Feste. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? |
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Malvolio. Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I
Feste. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no
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Malvolio. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness,
Feste. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.
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Malvolio. Sir Topas! Feste. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I,
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Malvolio. Fool, fool, fool, I say! Feste. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am
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Malvolio. Good fool, help me to some light and some paper: I
Feste. Well-a-day that you were, sir |
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Malvolio. By this hand, I am. Good fool, some ink, paper and
Feste. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you
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Malvolio. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Feste. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his
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Malvolio. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I
Feste. [Singing]
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Fabian. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. Feste. Good Master Fabian, grant me another request. |
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Fabian. Any thing. Feste. Do not desire to see this letter. |
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Orsino. Belong you to the Lady Olivia, friends? Feste. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. |
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Orsino. I know thee well; how dost thou, my good fellow? Feste. Truly, sir, the better for my foes and the worse
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Orsino. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Feste. No, sir, the worse. |
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Orsino. How can that be? Feste. Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me;
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Orsino. Why, this is excellent. Feste. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be
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Orsino. Thou shalt not be the worse for me: there's gold. Feste. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would
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Orsino. O, you give me ill counsel. Feste. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once,
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Orsino. Well, I will be so much a sinner, to be a
Feste. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old
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Orsino. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw:
Feste. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come
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Sir Toby Belch. That's all one: has hurt me, and there's the end
Feste. O, he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes
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Olivia. He shall enlarge him: fetch Malvolio hither:
Feste. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the staves's end as
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Olivia. Open't, and read it. Feste. Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers
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100 |
Olivia. How now! art thou mad? Feste. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship
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Olivia. Prithee, read i' thy right wits. Feste. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits is to
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102 |
Olivia. Did he write this? Feste. Ay, madam. |
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Olivia. Alas, poor fool, how have they baffled thee! Feste. Why, 'some are born great, some achieve greatness,
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(stage directions). [Exeunt all, except Clown] Feste. [Sings]
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